A friend of mine recently told me that he had been ‘unfriended’
on Facebook by someone he once cared for. While this gesture saddened
him, he knew that it was the final goodbye in a relationship that had
run its course. I told him that he had to honor this person’s choice
and accept that they had gone as far as they could together. He would
find new friends. And it made me think about my own recent ‘unfriended’
Two people who were very close to me recently
unfriended me for reasons I do not understand but since both incidents
happened after I refused to do something for them, I assume that I am
no longer their Facebook friend because my decision interferes with the
role they want me to play in their life. And I have to admit that it
is a role I have played for many years, being their friend, rescuer,
supporter, the shoulder they cry on when they need one and the person
they turn to when they have an emotional or financial problem.
when they weren’t in need I was the invisible person in their life, an
optional accessory they could use at will. And when I turned down the
most recent opportunity to offer help and support, they let me know
that my presence was no longer required. And that’s all right by me.
is the new way in which we relate to people and it has become the new
measure of social popularity. If we have lots of friends (disregard the
fact that we may not know most of them) we are considered popular.
Fewer friends means we aren’t ‘with it’. But these anonymous
friendships also offer the opportunity to end a friendship with the
click of the ‘unlike’ button. Presto, we are no longer friends. No
muss, no fuss, no drama or uncomfortable conversations.
is someone we like it can be upsetting. But we can offer our gratitude
to those people who take the ‘unfriend’ step because they are letting
us know that we no longer have to fulfill our role in their life. We
are not socially undesirable to everyone, just to them. Is this an
insult? I consider it a blessing. The people who decide they no longer
want us in their life do so because (as was in my case), we are no
longer useful to them. While that may sound harsh, it is true. When we
do not fulfill specific roles for them, they can’t get what they want
from us on an energetic level. So we are free and they can find someone
else who will meet those needs.
What if everyone you support,
befriend, are an emotional or financial anchor for and rescuer of
suddenly told you they no longer wanted you in their life? Would you be
happy or sad?
Chances are you would be relieved, maybe a little
bit happy and perhaps even a little sad because after all you have done
for them that they can so easily write you out of their life is
upsetting. But there is an upside.
In my case, I am glad to be
relieved of my self imposed role in their lives. So I am grateful to
those who unfriended me because I was feeling very used and
unappreciated. My time and energy investments were enormous and I never
received anything in return. In fact, it is perfectly all right that I
no longer feel obligated to be the giver in these relationships
because that frees me on so many levels and allows me to create new
friendships that are more energetically balanced and fulfilling.
being relieved and somewhat happy about this is a new paradigm for me.
There was a time when I wanted to be part of their life and to have
their approval. And I made many personal sacrifices to do that. But I
just don’t want to do that any more because I have cleared those
connections, released that karma and I want all of my relationships to
reflect my level of spiritual growth and the healing and transformation
work that I have done.
Do you have friends (and family) who take
from you without giving you anything in return? Are there people in
your life who treat you like an optional accessory — you’re there when
they need you and you are not when they don’t? Who meets your needs
and really cares that they are fulfilled? Who insists that you meet
their needs, no matter what is convenient, right or best for you?
What if you ‘unfriended’ them? Would you be relieved, sad, happy or feel guilty?
September’s first newsletter I wrote that this was a time for us to
get clear on what we wanted in our life and that includes the people we
will interact with as well as how we want others to treat us.
a list of the people who love, honor and respect you. Then make a
second list of those who take advantage of you, are needy, demanding and
who take but never give you anything in return. Which list do you want
to keep as your friends? Focus on releasing the relationships that do
not serve you and then let them find their way to the door. They will
be replaced by people who can be your true friends.
Stay calm, focused, detached and aware and remember your thoughts are creating every moment of your life. Think the best ones.
you ponder this and the other things that are happening at this time
(Mercury is finally out of retrograde, so it’s time to move forward
now), remember to:
Accept all gifts of understanding with gratitude and use them to apply forgiveness, release and healing to every situation.
Ask for guidance and confirmation and then wait for it to come to you.
all, be grateful for this opportunity to be part of humanity’s amazing
shift in consciousness as we all ascend into the miracle vibration.
Many blessings in these miraculous and amazing times,
Jennifer Hoffman and Enlightening Life OmniMedia, Inc.
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