Upside Down or Inside Out?snoedel.moorelife.nl | October 7, 2010 | 03:04
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3:33AM the alarm clock said, as I woke up and smelled something in my sphere of influence. It wasn’t the coffee yet, although that is currently permeating the air from it’s point of origin in the kitchen. Nope, the netbook revealed a lone coment, from a friend I had feared eaten by the langoliers. Do you remember those dreadful creatures that ate up the past, created by Stephen King in his book Four Past Midnight in 1990? I’m not a particular fan of horror, but I must admit that King is a master of the absurd, where Hitchcock merely mastered suspense…..
"Well, that ain’t no langolier!", I hear you say, and you are absolutely right! But it is related, as the following artist interview will show. But I couldn’t very well start off your day and mine with a 480 pixel wide horror of three multiple rows of teeth, completely blind in their hunger for past and Now…
Just like van Bruggen used King as his inspiration, I’m using both, and many more. But I am a bit apprehensive of writing all out horror like King, because lately I am beginning to feel like I had it all wrong. Just like King emphasised the Truth of it all, I think I should too, but from a more inside out perspective: rather than writing about the Truth, as it can be observed, I’m beginning to feel more and more like I’m writing the Truth, as I will eventually experience it!
And staying true to New Age perspective, it is said we all do. But it is a matter of finding your own particular Modus Operandii where manifesting is concerned. With me being ultra-partial to writing, it being my weapon of choice seems only natural. But others may very well prefer the spoken word, or even the subtle art of influencing the world with the way they look at it but never speak their mind.
So yes, I’ve grown instinctively careful about my choice of words, which has evolved into a subtle sensation about their appropriateness for my intended story. I used to think that was my love for truth manifesting my more accurate transcriptions of it, but it is starting to feel different now: It is more like the way the witches in Charmed frequently mess up their magic by too casually wording the spells they weave:
At the same time however, it is not a feeling of fear that is settling in: it is more the unnerving raw power of what exactly it is that I am busy mastering. There is this subconscious part of it, which keeps growing with every sentence that flows from my magically acquired keyboard. Yes, not bought, or stolen, but carefully placed into a position of being forgotten by a colleague years ago, and subsequently almost condemned to the garbage container out back of our company. At the same time though, the conscious part is lagging: It’s like riding a bike, where you never consciously learn the various laws of equilibrium involved in staying upright, but your subconscious masters them perfectly!
Part of my main trouble was, I never could stomach not being able to KNOW my way around things: in school I had to ‘get it’ to really learn my stuff, so that became an ingrained response: I simply wanted to get it! Unfortunately, that requires a far higher level of awareness than what I currently master. So perhaps I should just be content for now to cycle around the neighborhood, knowing that in due time even conscious recollection of this long held skill will be part of the plan. And it is possible: back in school I once flunked a physics test in a way that got me an honorable mention by the teacher. There were ten questions on the test, and I completely botched up the first nine! Those were the ‘read-em-and-sleep’ type of questions: if you read your book material, these should have been easy fill in the blanks exercises. My peers mostly had these correct, but not me! The only one having the last exercise correct however, was also the one who butchered the other nine: me! And the praise from the teacher came because he had tossed in that one last question to confuse the mindless readers: in order to correctly circumnavigate the problem presented there, you simply had to KNOW the stuff, rather than be familiar with the previous examples. And that apparently made the difference, although even today I don’t know how I could have aced that last question, and then COMPLETELY messed up the other nine….
Speaking of aceing, there was a more awesome example of that in my life, but it happened later, at the technical college I attended. The economics teacher had granted us the right to use programmable calculators for the exam, which was a first that year. So being an avid fan of said devices, I immediately reserved all my studying time for that exam to program myself a solver for practically every problem the guy could throw at us. Come the exam, I was prepared in a way I never even imagined: not only did my Casio hold the keys to the kingdom, but upon receiving the test I realized that my massive parallel processor had also acquired a distinct taste for the vector math which permeated these problems: in true race horse fashion I went through them one at a time, solving them only with the calculator part of my little machine, and allowing the programmable portion of it some rest. With ample time to spare, I then redid all exercises by entering their data into the program to double check my original findings. Not one of them had an error in it! Walking out of that class room was a feeling I’d never forget! Guaranteed A material, I never doubted that exam was in the pocket. And it became even more so: because of general bad results on that test, the exam committee later decided to up the grades another half point, because it had obviously been too complex a test. With an A already, I ended up at an A++ which was my highest grade ever!
Now if that wasn’t a clear example of me writing my way to success, I don’t know what is. Sure, I was writing code, but I’m versed in both code and Dutch and English. And just as the Economics exam rewired my neural network as I programmed it, I’m sure writing this and all the other Dutch and English stuff I put out is equally productive where it comes to laying down new pathways in my neural net, my beliefs, and thus my Reality!
Now I’m not the guy to threaten, in none of the two ways that could be explained, because the saying doesn’t hold the Pen mightier than the Sword for nothing: sayings usually have some core of truth in them. And if Voodoo is a practice that can exist in some realities, then something like Wishful Writing should also not prove to be impossible…..
Love your Words, I do!
Dre’Tags: artist, king, neural network, teacher