a message from Debbie Milam

Tuesday, 24 May, 2011  (posted 27 May, 2011)

Perhaps the most challenging and rewarding moments in life is parenting a teen. As I have witnessed and emeshed myself in my children’s growth, I am continually reminded that I am not in charge. My beloved creator brought these beautiful souls through me so we could learn from each other but more importantly they could teach me how to trust God more. Ultimately my children are not mine, I do not have ownership, but I can guide. I do not know what God plans for their life but I can mentor. I cannot protect them from life’s valleys but I lovingly walk beside them. I cannot make their choices but I can set limits and boundaries while modeling healthy behavior. My children are God’s children entrusted to me to love, nurture, discipline and assist God in raising.

When they struggle, although my desire is for things to be different, to be able to fix what I deem is broken, this is an opportunity to practice faith, trust and patience. Faith that what they are experiencing is for the greatest good. Trust that God is walking right beside them and patience to allow their growth to unfold.   For as I do this I witness the miracle of their development.

When I keep my perspective on God’s ways I see that they are not bound by peer pressure and the stress of fitting in, but wrapped in God’s protection as they grow. I see that they are not struggling but growing. I see that I cannot predict the outcome of their lives, but my beloved Creator reminds me that all is well.  This is when I give them the dignity to make their own choices as I honor their guidance system.

Their teenage years are similar the great metamorphosis of nature’s most precious gift a butterfly. My faith, trust and patience is what keeps me from wanting to cut them out of their cocoon, rescue them from their pain. If if this was done to a caterpillar they would never have the opportunity to transform, as only God can do, into a majestic butterfly. And the profound gift in witnessing my children’s growth is that I too am welcoming God to transform my heart and my mind.   What an honor and a privilege it is to witness this holy transformation that unfolds. 

Much love and may the highest good come upon you and your children Debbie Milam

Copyright Debbie Milam. Permission to reprint only with tagline included.

Debbie Milam, Founder The Best You Can Be Foundation www.bestyoucanbe.org