How many times do new age prophets and self help 'gurus' tell us to think positively? Everywhere we turn, we hear that our thoughts create our reality, and our self-image determines who we become. Yet, when we decide to improve our lives, it can be quite problematic to actually put this counsel to practice. If we merely try to stop thinking negative self-directed thoughts, and instead think positive ones, the torture we put ourselves through to think positively can be worse than our ordinary thought state, itself!
The technique is this:
For a few minutes, contemplate the things you've done that you wish you had done differently. Think of times in your life when you thought such things as, "I'm such an idiot!" or "What a dumb move…"
Now, think of someone whom you love deeply- a parent, a friend, a child, a beloved. Imagine that it wasn't you, but this beloved one, who made the 'dumb, idiot' move.
If you were walking with this person whom you care for so deeply, and you saw him or her trip and stumble, would you immediately say, "You clutz! People are laughing at you! Idiot!"
But if you, yourself, were walking alone, these are the kinds of critical thoughts you self-direct.
Now, we take this a step further.
Imagine that you ARE the person whom you care for so tenderly. You are the beloved one you thought of earlier- your parent, friend, child, or beloved. Whoever you feel the deepest heart connection to.
Now, imagine, as this person whom you love, how it would feel to hear harsh words of criticism.
You wouldn't want to criticize such a dear one.
With this understanding, go to the mirror and look at yourself. Instead of seeing yourself as 'you,' though, talk to your reflection. Speak to your reflection as if speaking to the dear one. Become your own dear one! Tell the mirror that you are doing what needs to be done to make your life as smooth, sweet and enjoyable as possible. Tell yourself that you love yourself!
Once you feel flooded with the light of love emanating from your own heart, sit in that energy. Feel engulfed by that beautiful light. For at least five minutes, you should sit with this overflowing energy of self-directed love.
Now, whenever you do something you wish you hadn't done- get a poor grade on an exam, a bad review at work, stumble or make a clumsy move- remember that anything you think about yourself, you are thinking it about a dear one.
This technique has a two-fold effect. First, it allows you to tune yourself to a higher frequency, by becoming a source of your own love and light. Second, it will greatly improve your relationships through the law of attraction. When your view of yourself is a beautiful one, the people who are drawn to you will reflect that same love.