snoedel.moorelife.nl | September 15, 2010
| 5:40 PM | Short Link: http://sethto.us/276
Nothing I can do about it anymore, but this afternoon I shattered a budding friendship with one single bad joke. A really bad one, which I won't be repeating here. The lady on the receiving end probably figured that couldn't have been a joke if it was coming from me, and took it hard. My next mail her way was about to apologize for my very obvious lack of taste, but it was too late: she'd blocked me, and it landed right back in my own inbox.....
And then I remembered that I hate humor: you either have to tell everybody up front you're joking, which will ruin the joke, or you run the risk of somebody somewhere figuring it is for real, in which case you lose a friend, permanently! And the less you tell jokes, the more people tend to take you serious, so you either have to joke all the time so nobody will take you serious, or you have to refrain from humor altogether, because if you do happen to tell a joke, you are always being taken seriously, and treated accordingly.
Of course I wouldn't give up that easily, not with several independent domains on the Web. I mailed the lady from another domain, to explain and apologize. That mail didn't immediately come back, so it must have gotten through.
But there my involvement ends: my message can either be bounced again, not answered or answered. To us, only one option leads onward. But the other two lead onwards just the same. Just not in a common direction.
Sure I feel bad, very bad even. But it was an honest mistake trying to make a joke when I normally don't. My bad, but like I don't feel pity for others, now is not the time to feel it for myself. Compassion, yes, but not pity. So whatever happens, I know it is for the good. Any outcome whether it's positive or negative, is just another building block for whatever comes next. But I'll be damned if I ever try to joke again!
Love saying what you mean...
snoedel.moorelife.nl | September 12, 2010
| 11:35 AM | Short Link: http://sethto.us/39d
Me, I've been on that track for quite some time now. It's nothing really, just those quirky little things that don't look right, that defy whatever rules you have governing your reality for you...
Like for instance getting a mail where someone mentions that more info on them can be found at two sites, one of which you even know, and have an account on. When you click the link though, the known site feigns being unreachable, and the mystery site presents you with a nice front that has no apparent links to anything more substantial. In which case the front of course is the message, for you to ponde.
Now let's just speculate where this might come from. Purely conjecture here, so don't pin me down on there being lots of totally different explanations for such synchronicities. I'm just throwing up a ball here, to see if it will result in a game....
What if Bashar is right, and the 4 laws are all there is? But we get ourselves involved time and time again in situations where we forget all that, and try to figure it out again? According to whatever we experience, we sooner or later discover that "Enjoy" is just about the only command most people would love to follow. But they're too restricted by the initial limitations, the handicap they gave themselves.
However, once you do know for sure that Enjoy is the Prime Directive, then the more playful elements of that group would soon find each other in a game of Killjoy Rescue! Rules are simple: those not thoroughly enjoying themselves are game! The 'hunters' do not enjoy killing the game, but rather enjoy the thrill of getting them to enjoy the Game too. They are masters of deception, but in a good way: none of them will ever present you with a situation that you might label as undesirable. And their knowledge base is huge!
We often talk about what information can do in the wrong hands, and there are plenty of conspiracy theories that cash in on that subject. But what if all that info we leave wherever we go is accesible to a group who has no other agenda than our personal Joy? I think I see a few faces lighten up here and there.
I know mine did, when that mail just came in. And since there was an open promise in there, I figured I might just have to prepare just in case tonight is it.
Are we having fun yet?
snoedel.moorelife.nl | August 25, 2010
| 6:46 PM | Short Link: http://sethto.us/n9
Y'all know me long enough to know that when I ask such a question, the following story will shed quite a different light on things. But hey, that's the media approach: headlines are to shock, the article will tend to soften it up a bit. Otherwise newspapers do not get sold.....
Today's tale is one of luck, both good and bad: me having a vacation-like day at work, where nothing went wrong, only to return home and find that my eldest daughter's bicycle had been stolen, my ex couldn't claim it on the insurance, and on top of that she'd transfered 1200 instead of 12 euro to someone's bank account!
When you're right on top of it, like she was, that's enough to drive you down the hole of sheer panic. No calm an rational thinking any more, but instead calling all stations with the bad news, and that horror story of having lost all that money!
To me, it was just business as usual: calm her down, show her the sunnier side, and help her in any way I can. In this case it meant mailing the shop concerned, to calmly explain the how and why, and to ask for speedy reimbursement. After all, that was about an entire months pay!
But after it was done, I noticed that my sunny disposition of this afternoon had totally not been injured by all that adversity! In fact, a mail from my poker buddy Patrick whom I met in the train last week gave me reason to be happy to know at least someone was making the big killings. Figuratively speaking of course, because as far as I know, nobody got hurt physically during that tournament in Paris.
Funny thing is, I am happy for those that succeed, but can no longer be sad for those that happen to hit rock bottom. To say it in Dutch might clarify things: we have two words called "medelijden" and "medeleven". The first means "to suffer with", while the second one means "to live with". I will absolutely do the last thing with anybody, whether their luck is good or bad. But the other thing? Sorry, no can do! And if that means I'm insensitive, so be it!
After all, life is what you think of it. And now I must probably remind myself of that, and LIVE IT!
Love doesn't hurt! (Nazareth was wrong!)
snoedel.moorelife.nl | August 6, 2010
| 5:19 PM | Short Link: http://sethto.us/wn
They say you can't go looking for it, but if you let it go, it will come. But what defines looking for it, and where is the thin line between that and merely being open to whatever comes your way? Maybe as long as you are looking for what you think you want, you sort of translate your ideal into a limited set of attributes, and pin yourself down on that.....
I always believed that my preferences were the sum total of what I wanted in life. Perfection thus became this dark-haired little nimf, and somehow she miraculously materialized, to lead me on this unbelievable search for love, that was actually totally destined to fail! The more I thought about it, the more it all seemed like the Cosmos was deliberately trying to tell me to quit staring at the impossible, and to open my eyes to what was staring me in the face all along.
A few weeks ago, I got into a talk with the bus driver who happened to drive me home. Pretty soon she picked up on my ability to help people with their computers, and by the time we were near the stop where I needed to get off, I handed her my card because she had mentioned having a computer problem. Now this lady was someone who I'd have passed by if I were still in 'looking for' mode: she was a lot more pronounced where body weight was concerned than the ones I'd normally go for (If I go at all, I'm really shy)
This morning she mailed me back, about that computer problem. But somehow one mail turned into two, three, and by the end of the day, inbetween working like a horse, we had both racked up about twenty mails each, figuring out the differences and similarities between us!
The weird thing is, I no longer have ANY idea where this is going. But as long as it feels good, I don't mind just floating along with whatever comes up next, because I'm completely fed up with wondering if what I want has a chance of actually happening. Mind on zero, eyes open, and never look back!
Love what you don't know,
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