How do you constructively deal with intuitive empathy? What practical
can you employ to avoid becoming overamped or depleted? I’m going to
some strategies I use. Try them. See which appeal. One is not more
than another. Most important is if your choice works.

Walk away

Let’s say you’re chatting with a man you’ve just met at a
conference and your energy starts bottoming out. Here’s how to tell if
being zapped: Don’t hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least
twenty feet from him (outside the range of his energy field). If you
immediate relief, there’s your answer. Most people are oblivious to how
energy impacts others. Even energy vampires–people who feed off your
to compensate for a lack of their own–aren’t generally intending to sap
yet still they do. Obnoxious or meek, vampires come in all forms. Watch
for them. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone’s feelings, I needlessly
endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so
to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still
don’t budge for fear of offending? Whenever possible–if your well-being
feels at risk with an individual or group–give yourself permission to
make a
tactful and swift exit. In a spot, physically removing yourself is a
quick solution.

Shield yourself

A handy form of protection many people use, including
healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white
(or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of
it as
a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows
positive to filter in. For instance, your sister is on the rampage.
about to blow up; you don’t want her anger to shatter you. Now–take a
breath, center yourself, engage your shield. Literally picture it
forming a
fail-safe barrier around you which deactivates anger. It simply can’t
get to
you. Shielding is a deliberately defensive technique aimed at guarding
feelings, not repressing them. It works by establishing a perimeter of
protection around you that functionally doesn’t permit harm in.

Practice vulnerability

One tenet of my spiritual practice is to remain as
vulnerable as I can to everything; not to shield, the antithesis of
Some people prefer my strategy, some don’t. Use it if it succeeds for
Here’s the premise (not madness) behind this: if we solidify our bond to
inner self, we’ll become centered enough not to need to defend at all.
the best protection turns out to be no protection–a stance that
alarmed me. It didn’t seem possible I could do hands-on with
someone who had cancer or , for example, without absorbing
symptoms myself. But it was. What could be more liberating than to find I
could hold my own and still remain open! Too often we’re taught to
vulnerability with weakness. Not so. I like being vulnerable and also
This disarms people. To me, the appeal of such an approach is that it’s a
non-fear-based way of living in the world. It requires that,
you harmonize with whatever you confront, let it flow through you, then
recenter again, stabilized by your own resilience. Pace yourself. A
vulnerable posture will feel safer the stronger you get. It is a choice
and a
life-long practice.


To cement your inner bond and hold your center in any situation, I
recommend a daily practice of meditation where you focus on the spirit
within. Doing so gets you into the habit of connecting with yourself.
with a few minutes, then gradually the duration. The technique
simple: follow your breath and explore the silence. It is not void or
that’s the . As thoughts come, and they will, continue to refocus
your breath. Every inhalation. Every exhalation. The spaces between
are where your spirit waits to be discovered. There is something real in
there worth finding. My spirit feels like a core of head-to-toe warmth
vertically aligned though the center of my body. Imbued in the warmth
is an intelligence and intuitive responsiveness to my rhythms and
It speaks only truth, which resonates like a chiming in every cell.
become acquainted with your spirit. You can return to it to reinforce
who you
really are–not just the self you present to the world, but that part of
that is timeless. Make room to pursue it.

You can also see the video of this message here