through Joanna Neff (Jyoti Alla-An)

Following is an
edited transcription of a Melora session in which both my and
a friend’s questions about our relationship with our respective
Higher Selves are answered. It is clear that even if we don’t/can’t
sense Higher Beings, it doesn’t mean that they are NOT there!
So it is with our Higher Self. By including more personal aspects
of this session, I am letting readers and clients know that I
undergo my own spiritual struggles from time to time. What Melora
refers to at the end of the article is that since I had not worked
with Melora directly for almost two years, I wasn’t at all sure
she would "be there" for me for this session. Right
before we began, I felt the old, familiar Melora energy very
strongly, and then I knew we would have a powerful session.

(from a session
with a friend on 7/12/09)

MELORA: We are Melora, and we welcome
you today. Your question prompts us to say something about the
relationship with one’s Higher Self. People who believe that
they should follow whatever their Higher Self "wants"
for them are opening themselves up to enslavement, either by
their Higher Self or by some being masquerading as their Higher
Self . . . like an astral entity. You all are allowed free will,
and you can trust yourself to make decisions as a being. You
can trust that you have the right to make those decisions for
yourself in this embodiment, to be happy with those decisions
and not to worry about whether your Higher Self approves.

Now, in our discussion of soul hierarchies-and in our discussion
of the Higher Self’s role-we have explained that the Higher Self
does indeed get these "spiritual brownie points" earned
by the sufferings and travails of the embodied versions of you.
We don’t mean to sound sarcastic about this, but in the Earth
zone-because of the density and the darkness-suffering seems
to be the only way that people’s souls can advance.

However, in reality, suffering is not really required for soul
advancement. We hope you are understanding our answer. Suffering
only seems to be what purifies people, that advances them or
makes them . It is not really the Higher Self that created
the situation in which only suffering advances the Soul. Thus,
you have the right to trust yourself to keep advancing at the
Soul level without suffering.

The next step in that deductive process, or that rational line
of thought, is that your Higher Self would choices you
make that would liberate you and make you feel wonderful. It’s
only those in embodiment, and those "historic" and
experiential illusions that all the great saints had to suffer
or to be martyrs . . . that is at the most extreme degree. Those
beliefs have a grip on many, or most, people, and those beliefs
can be resolved and changed by your free will and your intention.

Our Jyoti is showing us the character Scarlet O’Hara in "Gone
with the Wind": "As God is my witness, I will never
be hungry again!" Those moments of life-changing, gut-wrenching
commitment and intention enable you to manifest what you really
want. Until you have that level of commitment, you will go
as on a see-saw.

ER: Speaking of Higher Selves, in a way it’s almost
like they’re wanting us to make our own decisions, because that’s
how they experience things through us. It’s not like we come
in with everything already pre-set. We may have some kind of
thoughts about some of the things we want to accomplish in this
lifetime, but there’s quite a bit of freedom to attain that in
different experimental ways. Do I understand that correctly?

MELORA:Yes! We have said that in your
Soul Group, for example-and your Soul Hierarchy-as that expresses
at "your end" of the hierarchy, in embodiment in third-dimension,
you do have motifs as a group or as a hierarchy and issues that
you want to explore when you come into embodiment in every lifetime.
So, for example, the Pallas Athena motifs would be Freedom, civilized
behavior, the arts, Truth, Courage . . . do you see? You will
come into embodiment with these being impressed at the Soul level,
but then once you get there, anything can happen. As a result
of those impressed motifs that you have chosen to explore, you
will attract certain experiences to you, but those experiences
have not been selected ahead of time.

ER: In my soul group or hierarchy, what are some of
the motifs that we’re trying to embody or that kind of characterize
our lineage.

MELORA: It is interesting that what we’re
being given as a motif for you is more what’s holding you back.
For example, you can say somebody is stubborn and judge that
as "bad," but the flip side of that is that they’re
also very loyal. If you throw out stubborn, you throw out loyal.
Answering your question has to do with something that is similar
to that, regarding what’s holding you back.

There is such a drive for integrity in the way you conduct yourself
and appear to be to others whom you serve. We realize this is
very convoluted, but we will give you some examples to try to
explain. At the core of what we’re trying to describe here is
your requirement for dignity and to be treated with dignity.
At the same time, you have a desire to "let your hair down"
and not be up on a pedestal, because you have found how much
pressure is involved in maintaining that-and that the dignity
is not worth the loss of freedom and expansiveness that your
Soul would really like to experience. And so at the core of the
dignity motif would be integrity of being.

Now, where we are, we are not as hard on you as you are on yourself
about what integrity means. In this world, what happens is that
you have all this propaganda from the church and society-socially
current delusions, and whatever. Whenever you fall for those
structures, it goes against your being-ness. In a way, you have
yourself shackled because of looking at the reflection back from
things that are not really appropriate to tell you about whether
you’re in integrity or not.

ER: Yes. Could you give me another example?

MELORA: We will keep going, and of course
everything about you is complex.

ER: [laughs] Thank you.

MELORA: We’re trying to get there. Integrity
of Spirit requires you to love yourself (not out of ego), and
so if you’re kind to all of these people but you’re not kind
to yourself, you come out of integrity with yourself. It’s not
okay to mistreat yourself any more than it would be okay to mistreat

Back to integrity, what we’re receiving is that your concept
of integrity places a burden of behavior upon you in certain
situations-especially professional situations-that fills you
with tension and that makes you feel constricted. Even though
you need to feel the dignity, you need to feel the respect, and
you need to feel that you’re serving, it’s kind of been backfiring
for a long time. It’s not really giving you what you need, and
it’s not really expressing who you are as a being in integrity.
What we’re receiving is that the more you pay attention to, and
respond to, your being-ness regarding this motif, the more happy
rewards you will get.

All of the impediments to your being-ness have to do with
concerns, and so trusting yourself, as a being, that you will
be able to actualize your dreams is the sticking point here.

ER: Definitely. And then one last question for me
about my guides: I have a duality here. I feel like I’m always
in contact with them, but then I don’t think I am at all. I think
I work with them so much with my inner . . . that I think they’re
such a part of me that I don’t even feel them anymore or acknowledge
them anymore. I know that sounds totally crazy, and I can’t put
it into words.

MELORA:You know, our Jyoti has discussed
this with us before, and we have said that your guides are always
there, whether you’re aware of them or not. This might apply
to our Jyoti’s question. We’ll see. Your guides may not be the
same guides that you used to have, and so you are perhaps feeling
that they’re not there because they’re not the ones you’re used
to. There are so many stimuli around you, and so much information
coming in that you’re intuitively receiving, and so forth, that
there’s just kind of a lot of static, and you just need to "tune
into that station"-the frequency of those guides-on purpose.
And all you have to do is ask.

There’s a main guide with almost monk-like energy,
but not in any oppressive sense. This guide is choosing this
energy and form as a quasi-religious figure: someone you would
call "Father" and that you would trust, but not the
stereotypical Catholic monk. More like Francis of Asissi that
you trust as a being and would call "Father." That’s
what the energy of this guide feels like. It really is someone
you would go to, not as a father confessor but as someone to
ask advice of and counsel from.

ER: I would like to address some of the questions
that my friend, Jyoti, has in regards to this incredible sense,
sometimes, of separateness–

MELORA: All the time . . .

ER: –or aloofness from her Higher Self . . . whether
this is an intentional thing. If you could clarify that for us
a little bit more.

MELORA: Yes. We would be happy to do
so. We heard two things right off the bat. The first was how
many times in our Jyoti’s lifetime people have mistakenly considered
her to be aloof and indifferent, when actually she is quite the
contrary. We could call it an introversion that is energetic
and not just an of our Jyoti as more introverted than
extroverted. It is a whole different way of perceiving reality
and reacting to reality when you’re an introvert, versus when
you’re an extrovert. And yet this is the way she perceives her
own Higher Self to be: indifferent and aloof.

The second thing is that our Jyoti’s concept of her Higher Self
and her attempts, if you will, to connect to her Higher Self,
largely are intellectual-largely come from her mind, not her
heart. These attempts also reflect a total lack of nurturing
and parenting in her current lifetime. So her reality, for example,
practically since birth, has been: "They don’t care about
me; they don’t like me. " There’s no parental connection
that allows her to look at herself as having any sort of parental-type
connection or to accept the possibility of that. (This is not
the answer she was expecting.) And so, her Higher Self would
respond if our Jyoti could approach her Higher Self from her
heart, which is a very difficult thing for her to do. The belief
that "they’re just not there" is so deeply entrenched.

In a conversation with a so-called "psychic" reader
on the phone about three months ago, our Jyoti became very frustrated
when the woman said, "All you have to do is reach toward
your Higher Self." And our Jyoti said: "I am tired
of reaching toward my Higher Self. I want her to reach toward
me!" And, as with the answer to your question about whether
your guides are really there, we would say to our Jyoti that
her Higher Self is very much there. She even asked once: "Is
my Higher Self retarded or something?" Remember that one?
[laughs] (Her Higher Self does not begrudge that comment.)

So, really, the victory for our Jyoti in this entire lifetime
is to learn to open her heart and not be afraid just to "step
off the cliff" and "go for broke."

ER: That’s easier said than done.

MELORA: Of course.

ER: When you’re in this incarnate
body and you’ve been mutilated in the past, it’s really hard
to bring your heart out on a platter-the sense of trust is huge.
How can Jyoti’s Higher Self, and her guides, and the people like
us who love her, support her on this journey. It’s sure not an
easy one, from where we see it.

MELORA: The truth is that our Jyoti is
afraid that she’ll just break apart. She’s afraid that if she
lets go to that extent, she’ll be annihilated-and not even from
outside herself. Kind of implode. It’s something that she needs
to deal with gradually but regularly, so that she can work through
it. It is probably the pain-at the core-that she’s afraid of
and that she masks constantly. But she has made it much bigger
than it really is in the sense of fearing going to that core-fearing
the feeling of what’s really under there that’s she’s tried so
hard for so many years to heal . . . and that we’re feeling so
intensely with her now. It is something that she needs to do
and that she keeps avoiding doing.

ER: Is there any technique that is available to us

MELORA: She’s saying "amnesia."

ER: "Amnesia."
that might be helpful for her? To kind of approach this in a
systematic, comfortable way?

MELORA: No. We’re hearing that this feeling
of disconnect from her Higher Self is a pivotal sign, or a pivotal
emblem, of the problem itself. We’re sensing that it would be
easier for our Jyoti, sincerely and intensely, from her heart,
to ask for that connection with her Higher Self and not say:
"You owe this to me" and "Why aren’t you reaching
back toward me?" and some four-letter words. Like a temper
tantrum of a child that is not getting what it wants. That is
the unhealed child in her that is really mad and hurts.

ER: Could a form of Jyoti that is the adult intercede?

MELORA: She has tried this, but it hasn’t
worked so far.

ER: It doesn’t have to be right now, but if you could
clarify this–

MELORA: What we would like to attempt
here is . . . we say "attempt" because, if you understand
the strange situation of our speaking through Jyoti while we
say we would like to connect her with her Higher Self . . . It’s
a kind of schizophrenic thing, but our Jyoti’s become used to
it over our years of working with someone else who is asking
questions for her in her behalf. Give us a moment.

We are endeavoring to give our Jyoti a visual representation
of her Higher Self-not just her usual impression of "a blank
wall"-to give herself some kind of form, so that she can
relate to her Higher Self. Up until this point, she has decided
that she might as well not have a Higher Self, do you see. This
disconnection is so extreme that it is as though she cannot even
imagine she has a Higher Self.

We are giving her physical sensations as well-what you have when
there’s a real person there with you. [long pause while I experience
my Higher Self] Okay. That’s helping. [another long pause while
I experience my Higher Self for the first time] All right. We
did not want to interrupt her experience by commenting while
it was going on.

The breakthrough here for our Jyoti, who always claims she’s
not very visual, is that she was given a very powerful visual
representation of her Higher Self coming toward her . . . with
beautiful light and a sense of movement, and with the gown and
robes flowing back and away from "the form" of her
Higher Self. And our Jyoti was seeing the light and feeling angelic
kinds of energies. The important thing is that we are making
this real for our Jyoti, because she used to feel nothingness
when she would think of her Higher Self or try to contact her
Higher Self.

This was an impressive entrance of her Higher Self as we helped
our Jyoti feel her Higher Self’s energy. It is definitely a female
Higher Self, with beautiful golden blonde hair. No angel "wings"
but a sense of power-great power-and yet a calm center, andshe
was just flying toward our Jyoti. Flying through space and time
to our Jyoti, and then enfolding her in her arms. And our Jyoti
is saying: "That’s enough-enough for right now." But
we know this is a big breakthrough, and so we can start here
and continue with this as time goes on.

Now that our Jyoti has this image, she can close her eyes and
feel what it feels like and imagine it, which is often the way
we have counseled clients in the past. This is a very positive,
good first step, and we thank you for inquiring in our Jyoti’s

ER: Any messages that her Higher Self wants to give
Jyoti? Not extensive, but any words of wisdom?

MELORA: Well, our Jyoti wishes to keep
this private, because the thing she abhors the most is crying
in front of other people. And kindness melts her down. We thank
you, but this is something she will need to be committed to:
taking time to explore this and to feel all of the love that
is really there for her but that she hasn’t believed is there
for her, in spite of her calling her Higher Self "retarded."
In fact, as you can imagine, her Higher Self is quite the opposite.

ER: [laughs]

MELORA: Our Jyoti wouldn’t be as smart
as she is if her Higher Self were "retarded." We thank
you for helping our Jyoti by asking these questions.

ER: It’s because we love Jyoti.

MELORA: And did you have any other questions
for yourself?

ER: Would it be appropriate to ask for help in meeting
my Higher Self?

MELORA: Absolutely! Since you are so
visual, this should be a lot easier for you than for our Jyoti,
although she is more visual…

ER: –than she gives herself credit for.

MELORA: All right. If you would start
breathing very deeply–as deeply as is comfortable. Don’t force
it. When you let your breath out, let it out totally, so that
you can get rid of the carbon dioxide and other toxins as you
breathe out. So breathe as deeply and comfortably as comfortable.
What is the question of your heart that you want to convey to
your Higher Self. If this is private, you can just tell us so,
and then just think of it or sense it, and then we will help
direct that to your Higher Self.

ER: I am sensing it.

MELORA: What we would like you to see
to start out with is a beautiful female in the sky, and
you will see the rest of the form later. But reach toward that
beautiful hand. It’s not a disembodied hand; it’s attached to
someone. [laughs] You will begin to see the shape and form of
your Higher Self as you take the hand of your Higher Self and
as it comes toward you in time and space in this beautiful sky.
Are you seeing that? That the hand is attached to a beautiful

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: The form now starts to become
clearer. It’s as though the form of your Higher Self is coming
out of the clouds, and you are able to see more and more of this
form. And please tell us if that is happening for you.

ER: Very much so.

MELORA: If you wish, describe the form
of your Higher Self as you are experiencing her.

ER: She looks very Asian, actually, which surprises

MELORA: It shouldn’t. What about your
devotion to Quan Yin and what about your children?

ER: Yeah. That’s true. Hello!

MELORA: Hello. All right. And
now we would like you to feel all of your senses. Is there are
scent? There’s a floral scent, isn’t there?

ER: Yeah. You know, it almost smells like linden.
I love linden/freesia flower. It’s kind of a linden and almost
a honeysuckle smell. Kind of that sweetness, you know?

MELORA: And are there sounds associated
with your Higher Self-a rustling of clothing?

ER: Yeah. Yeah. It’s like she’s dancing-not just dancing
but just kind of this beautiful flowing motion. Almost like a
martial arts form . . . like kung fu. Not in a fighting style-

MELORA: Right. As an art.

ER: Round motions, like circles.

MELORA: Like Tai Chi?

ER: A little quicker and faster than Tai Chi.

MELORA: What you’re experiencing now
is a description of how you realize your dreams: movement from
here to there. And you see it does not have to be like martial
arts. You don’t have to be a warrior in order to go from here
to there. Be an artist with what you already know and who you
already are. She’s smiling. [laughs] Very affectionate energy

ER: Very much so. I feel like a little kid, and she’s
just so smiley and accepting of who I am.

MELORA: It’s almost as though she’s performing
for you, putting on a little show for you to entertain and uplift
you, and to show you the artistry of your Soul. We keep hearing
this phrase.

ER: Wow! This is really special. Thank you.

MELORA: It is the artistry that will
take you there-not your brain, not your intellect, but the dance,
the movement. And we’re hearing that she requests that you bring
your children and husband in and that you all dance with her.
See what happens.

ER: [laughs] It’s like a reunion. And she’s gotten bigger.

MELORA: She would like you to join hands
with your children and your husband in a circle. She’s going
to provide energy to support this dance. She wants you to feel
the shift from having this feel kind of odd and then natural
to having it be open, joyful and expansive. Please tell us if
and when you get to that point.

ER: Almost there.

MELORA: Just enjoy it with all of your
senses; just open your heart to it.

ER: There’s a little resistance and fear from [her son].

MELORA: So have your Higher Self come
over to him, embrace him or enfold him, and just feel that tension
resolving. And have him look into her face and see beyond his
being a boy in Boulder, Colorado, and see her with his Soul-and
see his many lifetimes and feel the connection with the Asian
spirit-the Asian, Zen understanding of the flow of life.

ER: Much better.

MELORA: Um hmm. Because he’s Westernized,
he will have forgotten temporarily that Asians do not look at
"this is the beginning" and "this is the end."
The angles go away and nature, and the flow of things and the
movement of things, all continue . . . not so much the sense
of past, present and future of the Western mind. Your movement
as a being from "here" to "there" is just
movement-not a beginning and not an end.
And now we are being asked to bring your mother into the middle
of the circle that you’re forming with your husband and your
two children. We would like you to see her transformed, and you
know this doesn’t mean that suddenly she’s going to become well
in this lifetime.

ER: Exactly.

MELORA: But we would like you to see
her take on a radiance as she becomes liberated from this lifetime
that has been so difficult for her. See the radiance of her as
a being, now, grow brighter and brighter. And tell us if this
is happening for you.

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: Just stay with that so that you
can be assured that this is really what you’re moving toward
with her and what you are wishing to help facilitate for her:
her liberation. And has she transformed in any way?

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: Good. We would like you to look
at yourself and see if the same thing has happened to you: see
your radiance come up, not that you’re going through transition,
but see your radiance come up as you dance around your mother
in a circle with your husband and your children. Then see the
radiance of your children and your husband come up just like
Christmas lights! This is very powerful, isn’t it?

ER: Very much so. [sighs]

MELORA: We would like you to experience
that your Higher Self gives all of you a blessing. [pause] What
form, or forms, are the blessings taking? Is she bringing incense.
Is she bestowing light, color?

ER: [pause] More like a globe around all of us, including
my Mom

MELORA: All right. And see this as protective
and not constrictive, and so let the "globe" not be
too solid. Have it be protective but not the kind of protection
that would keep everything out. You want all these wonderful
things to be coming in now to support. We’re seeing the globe
more as the support for your family as a group.

ER: It’s [the
almost like
that movie with Jodie Foster, with everything moving in all
It’s cool.

MELORA: Very good, and it is about going
"home." This was so in that movie as well. All right,
and just so that we can gently "disconnect," have all
of you say goodbye to your wonderful Higher Self. She is, of
course, honoring all of you-those you love so much. Now see them
go back to wherever they were before. Now you and your Higher
Self are together. Get as close to your Higher Self as you feel
comfortable. Let her hold you if that is comfortable. Just feel
what it feels like to be nurtured by her and loved by her. We
see you almost as a small child: five years old, looking up into
her face.

ER: That’s exactly it.

MELORA: Let yourself feel all that love
. . . "and healing," she said. And healing.

ER: It’s kind of cool: She’s giving me back some of
the fire I’ve lost.

MELORA: Mmm. Stay with that.

ER: [sighs]

MELORA: See if she has a message for
you. It’s more fun if you can find it out for yourself, but if
you need our help we are, of course, here for you.

ER: Um, probably a little help…

MELORA: Don’t give up so soon. [laughs]
Stay with it.

ER: I see fireworks or something.

MELORA: What does that feel like?

ER: Joyous.

MELORA: Good. It’s not something for
your brain to interpret. It’s like "Yippee!" A celebration,
and fireworks are AWESOME! Sometimes loud, even-hard for a Libra.

ER: A double-Libra.

MELORA: Loud and boisterous joy . . .
joy with abandon . . . and light . . . exploding.

ER: –which is pretty happy.

MELORA: Does that surprise you?

ER: No. I guess not, but I wasn’t sure.

MELORA: There’s a coyness-almost a
but, of course, higher beings don’t really flirt. It has to do
with how they express joy and how they express affection. And
so she has this coy little smile, and we see the fan coming up
to cover the face a little bit because she’s smiling behind the
fan. There’s a playfulness. That’s it. That’s what it is, and
definitely Asian.
The word "artistry" keeps coming, so what we will give
you for your homework is to explore your own artistry. "How
am I an artist?" "Why does that word keep coming up,"
and "Why is it that Melora said that artistry-not your mind–is
what will help you realize your dreams."

ER: Does artistry include writing?

MELORA: Artistry includes everything
that expresses you as a being. It’s not about work; it’s not
about a profession. It’s about your qualities as a being and
your expressing them.

ER: Interesting.

MELORA: It’s a totally different way
of functioning in the world.

ER: Yeah, it really is.

MELORA: A lot more fun. [laughs]

ER: [laughs] Melora, you are incredible! Thank you: both you
and Jyoti.

MELORA: It is our very, very great pleasure.

ER: This is one of the most transcendent experiences
I’ve ever had.

MELORA: Well, we wish to assure our Jyoti
that we are indeed here. It’s not a matter of "Melora is
back." Melora never went away. And so our Jyoti had said
before the session: "I will totally let go of my ego; I
will not have my personality involved when Melora comes through."
It has been our very great pleasure to serve you in the Light,
and we are Melora.