Question: I am filled up with this
enlightenment, God-searching, question-asking,
never-ending-be-what-you-are business. Dead words of "holy" men are
flying like flies out of my ears. And here I am writing this question to
you. Is there any end to this bullshit?
answer: To be fully present in the moment puts an end to the
"bullshit", at least for the moment that you are present. When you are
fully present, you come out of the mind, and all questions and answers
disappear. All that is left is silence and the IS-NESS of NOW. It is
moment to moment.
You do not have to fully present all the time.
But you must be present enough so that Silence and Presence is the very
foundation of who you are and the very foundation of your life. You must
be able to enter into or return to the deepest levels of Presence
whenever you choose. You know that the present moment is the truth of
life and that everything else is an illusion. That does not mean that
you cannot play in the illusion. It is just that you no longer regard it
as the truth of life.
If you find it difficult to remain
present, or if you find it difficult to return to Presence, it means
that you are caught in the world of the mind, and there are a number of
possibilities you may have to attend to in order to free your self.
possibility may be that you will have to allow some very old repressed
emotions to surface into conscious expression in a way that is
unconditionally loving, allowing and accepting of those feelings.
third possibility is that you will have to stop
believing in your own memories, thoughts, concepts, opinions, imaginings
and beliefs. They are not the truth. Only silence is the truth and only
that which arises out of or exists within silence is the truth. That
includes everything that is truly of this moment.
possibility is that you will have to bring consciousness to your fears,
desires and attachments. Just bringing them to consciousness with the
intention of not acting upon them or believing in them will release you
more and more into the present moment. Even the desire for enlightenment
will keep you out of the present moment.
possibility is that you may have to refine your relationship with your
own ego. The ego is a powerful obstacle to being present and it will
only relax and surrender and allow you to be more fully present when
certain conditions are met. The ego feeds on judgment and rejection, so
any judgment of it or attempt to get rid of it simply strengthens it.
You will have to enter into a relationship of unconditional love and
acceptance with the ego if you want to be liberated from it. This is
paradoxical and a very subtle part of the awakening process.
hope that my words do not become dead words flying out of your ears like
flies. On the other hand, if enough words fly out of your ears, perhaps
you will be left in Silence.
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