That’s how it feels at first, you against all of them. I had that as a little boy, always being the one left out, suppressed, pestered, beaten up. But don’t feel bad for me, because I never was pitiful, even though I thought so about myself….
But there always is the Stairway to Heaven, and as I discovered only yesterday, stairways are mainly meant to get up there, rather than down. Even the alternative word stairwell points in that direction. Also it is easier to run up the stairs, as it is to run down them. Of course you can always jump to get down, but which beaten up little boy would want to?
It is all about Knowing. You may not know everything yet, but ultimately want to Know it All! That can either be achieved by going inside like the Buddha for years on end, but I wasn’t a withdrawal addict, although I withdrew quite a lot. I reached beyond the obvious, into books and stuff that made me see a better world. And it doesn’t matter who your source is, the Essence of Source is always there. Because basically, that is what discernment is: your uncanny ability to recognize Source! You do it all the time, without as much as giving it a second thought: gauging any input for the amount of Sourceness it contains in your eyes and ears.
There’s only one thing wrong with this picture, and that is that you are not Source yet, or so it seems. You only acknowledge part of what is, as I denied those that pestered and ignored me. But learning is like climbing those stairs, one step at a time at first, and running later. Some, like my daughter Laura, try going down the stairs even at an early age: she figured if she could crawl up the stairs, she might just as easily crawl down the stairs. Mummy cursed herself for having left the door at the top of the stairwell open, but Laura never blamed her: she was absolutely certain that she chose to descend that way, even though tumbling down wasn’t exactly what she had in mind.
I did similar things in my time: disregarding mum’s panicked warning about a hot oven door, I very much wanted to feel the meaning of the word ‘hot’. Boy, did I feel! It made me withdraw even then, but like quicksilver squashed together, my consciousness squirted out of the tight squeeze it was in, just like I did in later years. And there it met with more consciousness….
Some of it felt nice and warm, other bits felt cold and heartless, but there was a pattern to be recognized from all this. The more you see consciousness as your own, or like your own at first, the more of it arrives at your doorstep. That’s the stair idea, the road meeting up to meet your feet as you walk. It can be barely perceptible at times, like in the gym, where the 2 percent incline in my runner exercise is barely perceptible. But like the chat I posted here yesterday, you start noticing how your consciousness and theirs isn’t really all that different. Actually, once you start to notice the commonalities between you and your more or less casual partners, you notice how more and more commonalities arise with every step you take. It’s like walking up the spiral staircase in a crystal tower: with every step you can see more of the curved Earth’s surface!
But you’ll NEVER see all of Earth, if you don’t at some point jump off that tower to fly around and see the other side. I mean, you could crawl down, and leave the tower at the bottom, but let’s be honest: if you were going to see the whole planet, would you prefer crawling to flying?
Love your Wings,