This morning I visited our
farmer’s market to get some fresh vegetables and to see what kinds of
treasures the local artists were offering. I love this summer ritual
and look forward to seeing familiar faces, hearing music from
neighborhood bands, or learning about the new businesses that have
joined our community.
As I sat on a bench with my friend Nancy,
eating a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie, I overheard a conversation
between a mom, her daughter, and the mother’s mom. The daughter, who
couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, was complaining about how hot
it was. After hearing “Mom, it’s tooooooo hoooooot,” for the tenth
time, the mom was clearly getting tired. “Honey, everyone’s hot,” she
replied, “you’ll just need to wait till we get in the car.” As they
continued to walk toward the parking lot, I then heard the grandmother
say, “And, if you talk about it, it makes it worse.”
understood exactly what the grandmother was trying to do – help her
granddaughter handle the heat. Yet, I also heard something else – the
formation of a new rule. This simple, harmless message had the
potential to lodge itself in the thirsty sponge-like brain of the little
girl, only to become a rule to follow later in life – “Don’t talk about
what feels bad because it will just make it worse.”
Each one of
us has a mental filing cabinet full of rules, many of which were
harmless one-liners uttered by the adults who occupied our worlds. The
question is: Whose rules are you living by?
This week, when you find yourself feeling stuck or
frustrated, ask: “What would someone have to believe to be stuck like
me right now?” Then, decide whether or not this belief is worth holding
Cheryl Richardson.© Copyright 1999-2009 Cheryl Richardson, P.O. Box
13, Newburyport, MA 01950, www.cherylrichardson.com.
All rights reserved. Used with permission.
Have a question for
Cheryl? Call in during her live Internet radio show — Coach
on Call — on the Internet at www.hayhouseradio.com.
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