Woke up with this ‘pain’ on the chest that generally says: "You’ve slept enough, Get UP!" It’s not really pain of course, but nagging enough to prompt me to wash up and get dressed, in the meantime contemplating what today might bring. And frankly, other than the obvious, I have NO CLUE! Sure, one bill still not paid this month, so there’s a well-composed letter to write, to get them to grant me an extension. But it’s all so detached!
It is like I’m in it, but not of it. Simply satisfying 3D demands on my infinite being, knowing full well that in the end it is all trivial. As for wishes with regard to the future, there are none. At least none that I haven’t beaten to death already, trying to make them materialize. I still maintain that asking once is enough, so why repeat all of it over and over every day again?
Once you’ve gotten used to going without the hassle of civilization, life becomes simple. I once got the perfectly synchronistic phone number ending in 3210 333, and swore I’d keep that always. Right now, even that doesn’t matter anymore. Ditto for my MSN address, which had this weird synchronistic event attached to it’s conception. It all seems futile compared to what’s really out there.
Other than the default tasks of making coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinner and beds, there isn’t much that would make my day. And it shouldn’t, because when all is perfect there shouldn’t be any surprises left now, should there?
But still, that is what I wish for today: a surprise that leaves no doubt in my mind, that Reality is actually the much Grander Design I never Imagined. And I’m not even talking about life-changing surprises, just something to make me sit up and pay attention!
Love the surprise of living,