There are two types of empathic responses that you use when you
connect to others, compassion or pity. One is empowering, the other is
disempowering. One focuses on limitation, the other holds the energy of
expansion. One is helpful and the other is not. With one you disempower
both yourself and the other person and in so doing risk re-opening
karmic cycles with them that you may have already closed.
You make the choice to connect with compassion or pity in a single
instant and then you either become part of others’ drama or step aside
and allow them to light their candle from the light you extend to them.
The less helpful of these two responses is pity because through it you
agree with someone’s helplessness, lack of power, confusion, doubt and
lack of faith. You connect to them from your own woundedness and are
reminded of your pain. With pity you are in agreement with their pain
and feel the best solution is to offer your wound to show them they are
not alone in their suffering. Sometimes others want to be rescued when
they are in a powerless place. Are you willing to play the role of their
Compassion requires more effort because with it you release the need
to be ‘doing’ something for others. Compassion does not ask you to do
anything, other than to see others in their best light, highest
vibration and full potential. Even though their wounds remind you of
your own, you can respond from your healed center instead of remembering
your own pain. You can be a powerful example for others but you cannot
be powerful for them.
Those who ask for pity are seeking validation for their suffering.
They may respond to your offer of compassion with anger because you are
reminding them that suffering is a choice, just as being powerful is a
choice. Do you need to be reminded that you once suffered like them or
are you grateful to have found your strength and can show others that
they can find theirs too? In times of transformation use compassion to
remind others of their ability to heal any wound, that they can find
their shining light within and do not need pity. They will find the way
to end their suffering when they remember who they are and are able to
rescue themselves through their powerful inner light within.
Article Copyright ©2010 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved.