They say you can’t go looking for it, but if you let it go, it will come. But what defines looking for it, and where is the thin line between that and merely being open to whatever comes your way? Maybe as long as you are looking for what you think you want, you sort of translate your ideal into a limited set of attributes, and pin yourself down on that…..
I always believed that my preferences were the sum total of what I wanted in life. Perfection thus became this dark-haired little nimf, and somehow she miraculously materialized, to lead me on this unbelievable search for love, that was actually totally destined to fail! The more I thought about it, the more it all seemed like the Cosmos was deliberately trying to tell me to quit staring at the impossible, and to open my eyes to what was staring me in the face all along.
A few weeks ago, I got into a talk with the bus driver who happened to drive me home. Pretty soon she picked up on my ability to help people with their computers, and by the time we were near the stop where I needed to get off, I handed her my card because she had mentioned having a computer problem. Now this lady was someone who I’d have passed by if I were still in ‘looking for’ mode: she was a lot more pronounced where body weight was concerned than the ones I’d normally go for (If I go at all, I’m really shy)
This morning she mailed me back, about that computer problem. But somehow one mail turned into two, three, and by the end of the day, inbetween working like a horse, we had both racked up about twenty mails each, figuring out the differences and similarities between us!
The weird thing is, I no longer have ANY idea where this is going. But as long as it feels good, I don’t mind just floating along with whatever comes up next, because I’m completely fed up with wondering if what I want has a chance of actually happening. Mind on zero, eyes open, and never look back!
Love what you don’t know,