And equally important, do you know others like they really are towards you? Today at work, two things happened that took me by surprise, and made me think about this theme on the way back home. Now I do not describe these incidents to mock or to degrade anyone in any way, but these four thousand visitors a month might well include some of my colleagues, who will know who I’m talking about even without the use of names. The only thing I’m trying to do here, is to explain how we can all be radically wrong when it comes to knowing about ourselves and others…..
Like any employed man or woman, I have a gentleman above me, who assigns me my work. That went allright for a while, but in due time it became obvious that he talks to me to correct me, or to rearrange the conditions so I need to do my work differently. But if you do it right, he’s as silent as a church mouse. Like I said, that is nothing negative, just the way he is. Just like I need to know I’m on the right path. That went on for a while, until I became absolutely unsure of which decisions I could take myself, without having them recalled later.
And these last few days, it seemed to become worse: I was asked to write a proposal, and promptly did. But any reaction on it remained unspoken, even though every day I reminded him that without a decision, I was unsure about what to do. This morning I couldn’t take it any more, and stepped into his office to ask: "Have I completely disappeared from your world?".
And then the truth came out: he had just been too darn busy to ever get to my mails! That completely stopped dead in its tracks any negativity I might have felt towards my boss! Because despite his frequent chats and laugh-outs with numerous colleagues, he was just trying to make ends meet! I promised him I’d just work on as I’d indicated to him, and returned to my desk, making an extra effort the rest of the day to get more of what he wanted done.
Then, there was cake at ten. We do that for birthdays, so every two weeks or so, it’s a party. When I stood there having a delightful mocca pastry, another colleague came and stood next to me. That was a first, because usually all the groups form where I am not, and I just remain where I am, figuring that if anyone wants to talk to me, they can.
But this youngster made the leap, and when I mentioned yesterday’s pleasant surprise about the website statistics, we got to talk about what I do. To me, what I do is nothing special, because I do it all the time. But as he kept asking, I had to sum up quite a collection of pastimes: software engineer, webmaster, computer helpdesk person, part-time dad, train passenger, writer, and still wanting more requests for help! "No wonder you only sleep 6 hours maximum!", he exclaimed.
And then it hit me: "Yes, I DO do a lot!" Certainly, that was something to feel good about. And all the while I always thought that everybody considered me a slacker! Because maybe that is what I(or my ego) thought of myself?
I guess it’s time to wipe out a few thoughts about myself, and creatively rewrite them into something a bit more resembling the truth…..
Love your Self (and others)