Tuesday, 21 September, 2010 

I woke up quite early this morning. I took my dogs out for a
walk and felt a gentle breeze in the air. The same breeze I felt last
night while I walked them by moonlight. The wind whispers to me of new
beginnings. Oh yes! I am so ready for new things to come! The past year
has been filled with so much loss. Loss of life. Loss of hope and trust.
Loss of friendship. Loss of inspiration, motivation, and at many times
loss of my sanity! Within all the loss there have been as
well. I have grown stronger and more self-sufficient. I’ve found where
my true nourishment lies. I’ve learned to take better care of myself and
let go of what no longer serves me.

It’s been a never-ending
process of letting go. Letting go of belongings that I don’t need, use,
or want. Letting go of thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that no longer
resonate within me, which are bringing me down, and holding me back from
. Letting go of patterns created in relationships that I
care never to repeat again! Letting go of long suffering emotions that I
have held on to, which in fact, I don’t even remember the source from
which they generated!

This morning I opened up all my sliding
glass doors and swept the patios. I let in the fresh air and swept out
all the cobwebs. My cats and dogs took in the surroundings and the sweet
breeze with joy. I looked around outside through their eyes and I saw
all the wonder. Good morning new day! Good day new life! Each one is a
chance to begin anew. Through it all we arise each day and discover the
blessings waiting for us.

Yes, this time has been quite difficult
for many of us. We are being challenged and pushed to the limit. We are
being pushed to simplify our lives and find new ways of doing things.
The old ways no longer serve us. There is simply no way of continuing to
do things the way we have done them in the past without suffering.

I
have had a lot of financial issues. I was in a lot of debt. I raised
my son as a single parent and just charged a lot of things I couldn’t
afford just to get by. This past year I went through bankruptcy. It was a
relief to release the burden I was carrying. I could no longer juggle
the payments to stay afloat. With that I am in the process of doing a
loan modification on my villa. Its taken over a year and it has been
extremely difficult to complete this process with the . Its still
not over and I have to keep my thoughts positive. My frustration level
rises as money is very tight and I get really worried about making ends
meet.

I found myself thinking what’s the point of living. This
world is so dense and difficult perhaps I don’t even belong here.
Wouldn’t you know my yearly mammogram came back with a dark patch. The
breasts are the source of nurturing, which didn’t go unnoticed by me
that this is the area in which I am struggling with. I know I do not get
enough nurturing and this where I manifested imbalance. I had to go for
a sonogram to confirm the findings and now I’m going for an . It was
a huge wake up call for me. I do believe everything will be okay. I
immediately had to change the message I keep telling myself about not
wanting to live. I had to shift the belief I had created.

We are
powerful creators. We create far more than we give ourselves credit for.
I feel like it’s a cosmic joke. I am able to create this inside of my
body, yet I can’t get the daggone loan modification completed already!
The message I keep receiving is that all is in divine timing. We do not
see the big picture. We don’t know what is going on behind the scenes to
align what is necessary for our lives. We need to stay positive,
centered, and balanced in order to be in the divine flow.

For
today I am able to pay my bills, although with very little left over.
Yes, I have had to cut back quite a bit. I do far less than I would like
to do, but I also really enjoy what I do do. I am a simple person and
find enjoyment doing the little things. It really doesn’t take a lot to
entertain me nowadays. All in all I am happy and content. The only time I
get bent out of shape is when I look at my checking account and start
worrying about how I’m going to pay the next set of bills. The bills in
front of me always somehow get miraculously paid. The money is always
there when I need it. Sometimes it shows up at the last second. Which
always peeves me why we have to wait til the last second to get our
miracle! This is also about changing my perceptions about money, worth,
and abundance.

So many of us are going through challenges. The
guidance I receive is as we stay in the present moment and really focus
on our blessings the more they will multiply. We need to release our
attachment to how we think things are supposed to be. If we can distance
ourselves from the problem we give space for the solution to unfurl.
Avoid focusing on the issues and spiraling into a negative pattern.
While we cannot ignore them, we do what needs to be done in the moment
to assist the situation, but then occupying ourselves with things that
uplift us the rest of the time.

Prayer

Dear God,

Thank
you for many blessings. I am infinitely grateful for all that I have in
my life. Today I give my worries to you. I know things are manifesting
as they are intended. My focus is on creating the life I dream of.
Guide me in the right direction please. I create with a light heart and a
happy spirit. I release my attachment to making things happen in a
certain way. I am open to the infinite possibilities!

And so it is.

Amen.