I don’t know what it is about today, but if I can have them all like this from now on, I’m game! Woke up this morning with only a little time to spare, like always: just enough to shave, wash, dress, check mail and Moorelife, and put on my shoes. Figuring I’d need to drink a bit before leaving, I noticed some dirty dishes on the living room table, along with some empty drink cans….
Figuring there was always time left to do just that bit more, I stacked the plates, and piled the cans on top of them. Except for the last one, which got me the drink I also needed. True, not properly chilled, but the taste of an almost full can of room-temperature energy drink was quite OK to soothe my thirst, and make a conscious guy even more conscious of his surroundings.
No weird stuff on the way to the train, except a remarkably soft patch of weather for this time of the year. After all, we’re already almost a month into the R-months, if you count September. The lack of time inbetween trains deprived me of a hot cappuccino, but that was my own doing: I could have made it, but usually don’t when the train is already there. Just value my peace of mind more than the coffee.
Work got me a clear instruction from my chief, which took me till about lunchtime to fill. In between, there was plenty of time to complete the Verification Report, which leaves me the afternoon to orient myself on my new job, maybe do an inventory of the machines that inhabit our test lab. All in perfect calmth and clarity, with hardly any thought of private mail, Moorelife, or any other process that might distract me from work. Hey, I’m starting to get used to outside influences squelching those information sources, so I’m also getting used to not checking them quite as often as I used to.
So yes, this will be my only posting this lunchtime, with the rest following suit the moment I get home, or maybe even after dinner. I’ll see, but without hurries and worries, what’s there to fret about? Sure, a pile of bills left over from last weekend’s paying spree, but there will always be bills. At least I’m not in the bind that my ex-brother-in-law is in: He’ll have to run and hide to escape the shady characters he’s gotten involved with to keep his business afloat. That far outweighs the 280 euros he still owes me, so I guess I won’t be bothering him about that any time soon… And I do trust that there’s a solution to his predicament, just as there will be ‘opportunities’ to the desires I seem to have left behind in the last few days…
It feels strange, but worrying really IS a choice, just like not worrying. My ‘problems’ have not gone, but they no longer rest on my peace of mind, which was never designed to be bothered by them anyway. Now let’s just hope I can keep this up, and not develop a fear that it might end. Because if it seems to do so, it is not that it is not there anymore, but just that I’ve jumped into a parallel reality that isn’t quite as attuned as the one I’m in now….
Love your calmth,