I reckon this would go to the tune of "I just don’t care anymore", by Phil Collins. But for one I have no access to youtube here, and so cannot lighten up this thing with some music, and besides it is not so much about caring as it is about minding….. (because I do care, even if I don’t mind)
Like most people, I’ve always had these little things that irked me, that made life less than perfect. Some even could drive me right around the bend, making life hell. But these last few weeks, it’s like something has changed in a very subtle way: it’s like I’m cushioned from all sides, against anything that would normally make life less than desirable.
People come and go, without explanation, and I just stay right here, being me and that’s it. And where it used to annoy the hell out of me that I didn’t know why yet another link to the outside world had collapsed, it is now merely a matter of fact, there to be dealt with, without wondering why. Change is permanent, and every change brings me closer to the changes that really matter. Besides, those links haven’t really collapsed, but merely gone to sleep, ready to wake up if and when it matters.
All the while though, the rift between me and the world I perceive seems to be widening into a breathtaking view of something resembling the Cosmic Grand Canyon. If outside mirrors inside, then what does that mean for me? Vanishing into nothing? Or is the outside world leaving me all this space precisely because I’m expanding beyond what I’ve been so far?
One thing is for certain: it feels like the right thing, regardless of what fears may have kept me from it in the past. Simply going with the flow, watching trouble and strife take their business elsewhere. And knowing full well that any chaos that comes my way is just CHAnge On Strike: it all emerges from us trying to resist what will be anyway, simply because we do not have a wide enough view to see the lot, and accept it for what it is!
No need to bring any paddles, just lay back and enjoy the ride. And then, way before any of us ever expected it, we’ll land right smack where we want to be, simply because the Grand Design has had so long to perfect itself, that no amount of disturbance can unbalance it…
Up the creek without a paddle,