But still, even to me last night looked silly. How can I possibly think so little of myself? Well, that’s the risk you run when you find out how awesome the world around you is. And it is said that we are every bit as awesome ourselves, but that feels a lot like telling a grain of sand it is as awesome as the desert, or a drop of water that it is the whole ocean. You simply can’t see that until you felt that awesomeness yourself. And frankly, I’ve seen a lot of it, but have yet to experience it as essentially ‘being me’….I’ve heard all about the whole movement, trained my neural net so its rules are burnt into my mind, but it is intellectual as an achievement at best: there is no real belief that whatever I am thinking and saying is actually also what I am feeling! It is like riding a bike: somebody may be able to teach you the various equations you need to solve the balancing and control of the bike, but in reality, that doesn’t mean riding a bike is possible for you: rather than training your mind to know the rules, you have to train your whole body to FEEL the rules!

But at the same time, the main ‘rules’ of New Age have my knickers in a twist:

They say I am perfect, yet tell me I need to Ascend further anyway. Now if I am perfect, doesn’t that mean I should stay who I am, rather than trying to improve upon perfection?

It is also said the ego needs to be overcome, but that all is perfect anyway. Why make an exception for the ego then?

Time is said to be an illusion, yet ‘soon’ is the most often used word in New Age, which as a reference into the future totally contradicts the idea of time being an illusion.

All is One, and there is no Good or Bad, but we are all scattered amongst ourselves following whatever part of creation, in the form of ascended masters, aliens, and what have you. Also we are warned to make sure our sources are of the Light, yet it is said that there is only one true Source. Is that of the Light then?

Probably, the brighter minds could come up with a few more of these contradictions, that kinda dissolve the idea of actually feeling what my neural net tells me is true. Because I do feel that such contradictions mean that my heart is not ready to accept a point of view that still has holes in it….

But I love you for helping me get it clearer,