I’ve not been in to see a doctor for well over five years. Healthy as a fish, but then I’m a Pisces! Last week however, I felt too good to be true, too healthy to really be running on all cilinders. So keeping in mind Freddy’s suspicions about being slightly mad, I just rolled over, laid down, and hit the Self-Diagnosis button…..
Diagnosis was instant, and devastating! My condition is commonly known all over the Cosmos as AADS: Acute Anxiety Deficiency Syndrome…
Symptoms are quite commonly mistaken for ordinary household diseases, like happiness, bipolar disorder, great expectations, or just lack of sufficient boredom. It is a slowly creeping disease, resulting in slightly less anxiety with every little success a man or woman experiences. No escaping too, because fatality rate is 1∞%. The only known remedy is temporary, and will only slow down the buildup of highly intoxicating endorfins in One’s brain. We are proud to present the result of several minutes of soul-searching, preceeded by about 48 years of thorough, hands-on research:
If you really need a cure to end AADS, come see him! He’ll bore you to death so AADS will have no chance of ever making you go High again….
On the other hand, why should you? Acute Anxiety Deficiency Syndrome does not kill, it does not maim, it merely stops you from feeling bad. No doubt, politics will soon have a bunch of scientists come up with the virus that caused it, and their mandatory taxation and / or prohibition of said substance. Until then, come see us for more tips on how to grow your own, even in the complete and utter darkness of your own personal Hell!
Love your AADS, it’s what kills boredom!