It’s not like it hasn’t been debated before, and it certainly will come up again and again everywhere, but since the energies on Moorelife seem to be very focused on this gender thing today, I figure I’ll have my say on it too… Denisa last night told me in a private mail my is female (knew that…) and I should have a ball experiencing Her for a change.

If you have no idea what this picture is doing here, then maybe someone should tell you shemales are sometimes also referred to as T-girls, and this is what’s called a T-connector….

With that little meme inserted in my mind it took a while to permeate the head cold I currently have, but over the course of the morning I did figure out a few things, identifying what went where, and who was fighting whom….

I’m male, both body and ego, or Lower Self. She (my Higher Self I call Endra) obviously is the opposite kind. She loves to help, everyone and everywhere. It is her Prime Directive. He fights her on that whenever he thinks there’s nothing to be gained from an activity in the physical. Weeding out the back yard? Don’t bother, it will just grow back, and nobody gives a shit anyway! Because he does not appreciate a well kept garden any more than free Nature, he wins because she also doesn’t think it enough of an issue to fight him over it. Same with doing the dishes, the laundry or (until this week) work.

Yep, this week my Lower Self found his dream job, messing around with computers, rather than leaving the hardware and software intact as much as possible, and just working around any unfortunate situations that might hinder progress, like my Higher Self would do. He loves to take things apart, and put them back together again. And on the Rubik’s Cube he beat her to the punch: "wanna screwdriver?" and then the fix was in! She gave in yet again, and got screwed like always….(She loves puzzles, and he blew it for her….)

He’s the guy who finds the shortcuts, the easy ways out. She tries every way to make him see the consequences of those actions, the bigger picture behind the scenes, of which She has acquired all the knowledge over countless aeons. But the guy just doesn’t listen!

In a way, the external conflict that has been going on ever since my Mum and Dad met, has been internalized within my . It defines me like their DNA did, giving me both the positives and negatives of both! And such a doubly redundant configuration is very hard to kill, as a computer expert I know that! But is killing it really the only solution?

Personal pleasure at a discrete distance, found this looking for a
remote control on , seemed appropriate, if somewhat distasteful

Can’t I have them working together, now that I figured out who plays which role, enjoying the movie rather than desperately trying to direct it? Who knows what the ending will be? Who cares as long as we know it will be a happy ending anyway? Right…. NOBODY!  So let’s just get this show on the road: you get the popcorn, I’ll whip up some cokes and pretzels, and then we can fight over who gets to press ‘play’ on the remote….