Yup, new self-registering users again (even though the ability to create them has been shut off), but now that I’ve cleaned out the list where the non-activated users are concerned, it is much easier to keep track and react adequately and thoughtfully. Two of them arrived today, one of them clearly indicating that I have been slumming lately, but at least it says nothing negative to me. It merely indicates where I might find more. Well thank you kind sir, but even though I’m sure the ladies in are lovely, I am also sure I won’t go looking for any of them there….The second one was more nasty, in that it had less information to go on, and the information it did give was of a more negative intonation: the mail address given was a jumble of letters I could make heads nor tails of, and past experience has shown me that mailing such addresses either results in a scalding from the mailmaster at GMail, or a no show where a reply is concerned. So I’m just left with the user name itself: Engesgast.

Now you english speaking readers may not realised, but ‘creepy guy’ comes closest to translating it, and it could very well alude to both the person who registered the username, as to the person who finds it in his list. And going on my production of yesterday, I’d say the last one is more likely. Well, he’s probably right, because my lower self never sees hears or feels my higher self: it is his most annoying problem, that he just can’t FEEL it! (Or simply denies it, but he feels truthful when he says he can’t)

Usually though, a good night’s sleep will fix that, but then he is no longer at the wheel, and thus unhappy as well, for he has no way of knowing where he’ll be taken, and is certainly not convinced it will all be for the good. And maybe he is right, in wanting to know how or what. But frankly, I don’t care, or mind, or whatever word most accurately spells non-attachment without non-disregard. Because that, being some aspect of my upper self, is my most nasty property: lack of will! The moment I’m happy with what is, there are no desires driving me to do anything, be anything, have anything. I may go shopping for a new HTC WildFire smartphone because it is free with the subscription I need to be able to communicate across longer distances still anyway, but there is no drive of desire behind it anymore! Just the slow flow of being here, having it all, and being absolutely unexcited by any of it!

So yes, I probably am an ‘EngesGast’ in that way. Going to a new course this week, which might prove just as intriguing as the beginner’s course with Neda a few weeks back, but since I am totally lacking the anticipation of expectation with the happiness of the Now clouding it, there won’t be anything to look forward to. Because what do you give a guy who has it all?

Well sorry guys and gals, I don’t do cars….

Have a great day though!