Dear Saint-Germain, I am a neurologist in an inner city hospital. My associate may retire soon, and I will likely replace him as head of our department. This involves administrative work – which holds no real interest for me. What I really enjoy is working with patients. And I also like variety. I even use acupuncture and astrology in my practice, if the patient is interested. I wonder if blending these traditional and alternative approaches might work for me in the future?
"I’ve also never been in a lasting relationship with a woman. I’m very sensitive to other people, so I often get 'pulled off track' by them. I don't know if I could live under the same roof with someone else. Yet, part of me craves intimacy. Is there a solution to this dilemma? Thank you."
Dear friend, there is something very important that connects everything that you’ve asked about, and that connection is “freedom.” You see, you are here in this lifetime to work through issues of feeling free, and this is manifesting on several fronts for you now.
At the level of your Soul's purpose, you're here to work through issues related to freedom and independence. This is manifesting most strongly for you now in areas that have to do with your career and your desire for an intimate relationship with a woman. However, you can be certain that wherever issues of freedom are involved, that there you will also find subconscious fears about responsibility to self and others. They go hand-in-hand.
My friend, you are likely a person who revels in his sense of freedom and adventure. For this reason, the thought of accepting more responsibilities in your life might be disturbing at a deeper, subconscious level. Assuming responsibility for people or things can activate fears and misgivings about losing your freedom – about being tied down, and limited too much in life.
In your case, some of the fears that are surfacing about your career, have to do with you being tied down to one path – a career path with many unpleasant, and even boring responsibilities; plus little diversity or intellectual stimulation.
When it comes to your desire to have a woman partner in your life, the issue of freedom emerges again. With a partner, you would have to think about your responsibilities to another human being – someone who will have wants and needs that are different than yours. The unconscious fear here, is that your independence will be limited because partnering requires a level of joining that could compromise your freedom and mobility. I'm not talking about your freedom to be with other women, of course. But rather, your freedom to be yourself.
Does this sound familiar to you? Perhaps it does, so let’s look at it more closely.
A Closer Look at Freedom
You are a person of many talents and interests, as evidenced by the range of skills and modalities that you bring to your medical practice. When you are feeling free inside, you are naturally adventurous in what you choose to undertake, and you generally feel self-sufficient in your ability to do it on your own. You are kind and supportive by nature, but you may throw yourself excessively into your work, or excessively worry at times. You have a quick mind, and you like the stimulation that diverse interests can provide you.
When you are not feeling free in a relationship, the imbalance can cause you to feel insecure and even angry, discouraging you from staying involved and pushing you toward withdrawing your energies, instead. Also, when you're feeling obligated instead of free, this can cause you to try too hard to please others at first, only to resent it later.
When you are not feeling free at work, then you may discover that either you become less focused and disciplined about things, and that you even get bored easily; or else you become excessively preoccupied and worried about taking care of all the details, so that you can free yourself eventually.
Your life issue about freedom has many energetic components, some of which can be seen astrologically. For example, the relationship between the Sun and the Moon when you were born creates a certain tension. Your Virgo Moon is strongly oriented toward work, while your Libra Sun wants relationships. But other factors in your energetic configuration give you a stronger orientation toward work, which challenges you around companionship. In other words, you tend to feel freer when you are able to work as you prefer; but you feel less free whenever there is someone in your life who limits this, or places responsibilities or expectations on you.
Part of your Soul’s purpose in this lifetime is to find the right balance between having freedom in your career, and freedom to explore the depths of an intimate relationship with someone. But this balance is dynamic. What felt balanced at one time in your life, might not feel balanced now…and you are being encouraged at the Soul level to attend to this.
Freedom to Be, Who You Really Are
Your work as a physician and a neurologist is very important, of course; and it IS intimately connected to your Soul purpose in this lifetime. However, you may find now, that your work routines are getting in the way of something else that you are here to explore. Something that you need to be free to explore.
And what are you here to explore?
You are here to freely explore, Who You Really Are – You are here to freely explore all that you are as a Child of God, and God, also. This is the Truth About You, and it is the ultimate purpose of freedom.
Now, you have asked about the possible promotion to head of your department, and your interest, as well as your reluctance to take this up.
I would like to suggest that this promotion actually might be a stepping stone to re-balancing your life in the way you would like, although it might not feel that way at first.
What I mean by this, is that instead of being busy all the time as you currently are – trying to attend to all the details of your work, having this dominate your private life, and making it harder for you to develop companionable relationships – you will have to change your routines. If you become the head of your department, you will have to structure your work and delegate responsibilities to others.
As you are required to restructure your professional responsibilities, you will also have to make changes in your private life – and this includes giving yourself permission to relax and find out what is enjoyable and fun for you to do.
Structuring your responsibilities, so that you can balance work and recreation, is the key here, with a special emphasis on recreation. As you do this, you will find that the people you recreate with, especially some of the women who share common interests with you, may turn out to be the right companion for you in an intimate sense.
So don’t necessarily discount this promotion, or look at its added responsibilities as a “negative” thing. It may force you to create balance and structure at work in a way that fulfills you professionally; but that also requires structure away from work, so you can engage in lighter relationships and even encounter a companion or romantic partner.
Freedom to Love, Create, and Recreate
Part of the learning that your Soul has set before you is the importance of recreational activities. These activities can include hobbies, games, and even romantic companions – ones that are not necessarily life partners – but that are just fun, and allow you to feel vital, alive, and inspired. Incorporating relaxation, fun, and regular breaks from the routines and duties of work are very important for your development. It’s one of the reasons that you’re here in this lifetime.
Some of your needs for companionship are being met through the one-to-one contact that you have with your patients and clients. But it can only go so far in satisfying your deeper needs for partnering because these relationships, by nature, are work-related.
But your Soul is encouraging you to focus more on relationships that do not pull you into the worries and responsibilities of the job, but give you relief and relaxation from it. Initially, these could be friendships – people that you can “play with,” if I can use this phrase here. Friends are easy to be with, precisely because they don’t bring the stress of work into the relationship.
I’ll say that for the long-term, the best way for you to find the kind of partner that you can live with, would be to open yourself up to the lighter and more recreational side of life, and then see who you meet there. And take particular notice of the women friends that you encounter there… This can come through recreational or leisure activities, hobbies, interests, and the like.
This doesn’t mean you need to abandon your passion for your work. It just means that your Soul is encouraging you to find a new “balance point” at this time in your life, so that all your needs are met… not just some of them.
But the main thing you’re being encouraged at the Soul level to develop now is this: The ability to relax, recreate, play, and have fun. Learning to have fun is balancing for you, and it will eventually point you toward the right people to be with, and even potentially partner with.
Freedom to Deepen Your Experience of Relationships
My dear friend, why not discover the world around you away from work? Discover the possibility that you can engage in relationships that are fun and relaxing, and that bring you a sense of joy and lightness. But to do this, you have to give yourself permission to not work so much; to not put your focus only on your career and work obligations.
When you shift your energies and give yourself time to have fun and relax, you will find that as you do, you will want to share these experiences and the lightness of your being, with other people. I would recommend this as the first step that you take to bring yourself into a position of exploring a deeper relationship with a woman.
You have to allow yourself to be around people first, and to be around people that are not seeking your services and expertise for the things that cause their suffering. You have to balance this kind of valuable service with opportunities to be around people who know how to have fun, and that can play and be silly sometimes, yes.
You need to relax the grip that you have on yourself that drives you to work so hard, and so much – a hold that is so tight that you don't give yourself a chance to spend time in the company of other people; in the companionship of people who can be lighthearted and easy; playful, silly, and sweet. If you do this, you will find that you can actually shift your energies, so that you have the kind of relationships and work experiences that are meaningful to you, but without feeling that your freedom in life has been compromised.
Relaxing the intensity of your work, and opening to the potential of untroubled and carefree relationships is something that you are definitely encouraged to do in this lifetime. Your Soul has created opportunities that you will meet in the coming months and years, and you will have to look seriously at these important issues. You will need to examine more closely how you work, and how you do relationships with others, especially intimate relationships.
These are things that will be brought to your attention in order to balance them in a way that works for you at this stage in your life. You will be encouraged by many events and opportunities that will arise at your job and in your life, and you will be shown the way to go. Your Soul is there to guide you, and to show you the direction. You just have to allow yourself to shift to a different kind of experience – to move to a more expanded and relaxed place.
Always remember that this is a process of deep transformation that you are engaging, so don’t expect overnight changes. But neither should you be discouraged or think that these changes are not within your reach. They are. And you are well on your way to seeing the results that matter most to you.
Freedom to Deepen Your Experience of Work
Now curiously, the best way for you to begin to relax more, may come through opportunities at work. As you’ve indicated in your question, you can expect a major change in your professional status to present itself soon. This is something that you’ve anticipated, and it feels somewhat predictable. There will be expansion with this that will probably feel right and good to you. But it will also include more power, authority and responsibility for others, which raises issues of limited freedom for you. Much of this is related to the movement of the planet Jupiter in ways that resonate strongly with your profession.
These opportunities will be favorable during 2011 – and then in 2012, and moving on toward 2013, there will likely be a build up toward a sudden change in your professional status, responsibilities, and career. This will coincide with the movements of Uranus in ways that resonate with your career interests.
Now, whether this means that you will have a radical, new position at the hospital, or you will make a radical change in your career at that time, remains to be seen. But it could include unexpected opportunities to introduce the alternative practices of acupuncture or astrology into your professional activities in a very public way. Whatever comes, it may feel like a radical departure from what you’ve been doing for many years.
Remember always, that the opportunities that are coming your way, are not there to limit your freedom, but rather to help you deepen your experience of life, and to freely and consciously explore All That You Are as a Child of God, and God also.
You are deeply loved, my friend. I AM Saint-Germain.
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