Sadness isn’t so bad. Much of the time you don’t even know what you are sad for anymore than you know why it rains one day and is sunny the next. Like rain, sadness comes, and sadness goes. And sadness comes unbidden. Maybe you weren’t even expecting it. You did not want sadness to fall at your feet. You never asked for sadness, and yet it came.
Of course, logically, sadness comes from attachment. Attachment is a funny thing. You want a bond with another and yet not be attached. You want to hold hands, and yet you don’t want to let go, yet you know there is such a thing as letting go, and you know you can’t hold hands forever. You know you have to use your hands to wash dishes and other things.
Is a bond a giving of love then, and is attachment tying the bond tight then? Is attachment needing and love giving?
In any case, whatever breaks the bond, whether in life or by death of the body, it is heavy-duty. You feel left. It is a mystery to you how you can be bonded to another and not be attached? And how can you let go when you don’t want to let go, and you think you will never be ready to let go?
It must be that you consider letting go of attachment as letting go of love, letting go of caring, letting go of meaning. Does loss of a loved one emphasize separation to you, even when you intellectually accept the concept of Oneness? Does the loss of a loved one, regardless of the reason, make you feel that you are less? Was your loved one a wall that you could lean against and that held you up?
And what is crying anyway? It surely is a bond between the mind, heart, and body. That can’t be bad, can it? Certainly, mind, heart, and body are intimately connected. You and a loved one are connected wherever you are or are not. Letting go of attachment does not have to mean letting go of love, yet perhaps you have only known attachment. That could be.
You love to see a loved one arrive, and you do not love to see a loved one go. And yet entrance and exit are part of life. There is no going around it.
Perhaps non-attachment is the ability to say to your loved one: “Farewell. Enjoy your journey. Enjoy your journey whether it is a trip to the store for a pack of cigarettes or it is your final journey this lifetime to Heaven. I know you still have many journeys before you, and I cannot go with you. Enjoy yourself. Be happy without me. I would go with you if I could. I have to stay here. The day will come when I join you, and we are reunited again. Meanwhile, I give you my heart for safe-keeping, and I kiss you goodbye. Farewell. I promise to let you go with my blessing. I will not keep you from your travels. You were mine for a while. Always isn’t really better than a while. I give you my love so that you may take it with you, not as a keepsake, but as a giveaway. You gave me a lot, and now I give you your freedom. Here, here it is.”
And, now, tell yourself to fare well as well. You are also on a journey, even when your body stays where it is, even when it is hard for you to turn around and say goodbye.