If you came across people with leprosy frequently, you might say to yourself: “What have I done to attract this?” You might take it personally, hold yourself accountable, karma and so forth, or you might not hold yourself accountable at all but be mightily annoyed that people with leprosy seem to gravitate to you. You see it that you are being given a hard time.
So now, here’s the difference between you and the Great One who helped to heal. He said nor thought any of the above. His thought was: “What can I do to be of service?”
He wasn’t thinking of himself. That meant he didn’t wonder how he might have brought people with this illness to himself nor did he find fault with them for having a disease that made them outcasts in the common world they lived in, nor did he resent them for choosing to come to him. His immediate thought was to be of service to his Heavenly Father through the needs of those before him. He served, and yet he did not take others’ difficulties to himself.
I use the above by way of example.
Now, let Us say that you suffer ill-will too many times from others. Others seem to be offended by you, and a sure result might be that you offend them back. It is like you are innocent and yet you find yourself in the same pickle time after time. The incidents you may come across can be compared to the appearance of people with leprosy. Your common response might me: “How come there are so many people who take offense at me? They shouldn’t behave this way to me. It’s always like this. This isn’t right. What is the matter with these people?”
You may see that somehow the world mistreats you. You recriminate the others for their lack of consideration to you.
There are others who see themselves responsible for the recurrence of situations, and, yet, they are still as helpless as the ones who cannot come to grips with the idea that they somehow contribute to the drama repeated in their lives again and again. These children of Mine may hold themselves guilty of doing something wrong, even when they don’t know what, and even may be an innocent bystander.
In one scenario, one person takes no responsibility, and in the other scenario, one dwells in guilt about it. In both cases, attention goes on themselves.
Better to get away from these scenarios and ask yourself the questions now: “What do I do? How do I respond to this? How can I repair the experience for the benefit of all?”
Let Us say that someone accuses you of being rude to him or unkind in some way, and you see this as an assault on you. Your reaction is anger. You are going to have nothing to do with this person in the future. That did it. He or she wronged you, and that’s the end of your exchange with that person. That’s the end of that person in your life. You’re finished.
And so you punish the other person, and, in the process, you punish yourself.
In kindness and generosity, you could say to the person who was offended and who, in the process, offended you: “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I was unaware. I would never want to offend you. I will be more careful in the future. I never want this to happen again.” How would it hurt you to say this? Or would you rather be the angry victim?
We are talking about your being a true friend, not a happenstance one.
If, for good reason or no reason, you have alienated someone, don’t alienate them further. Make peace.
Better to make a friend than a foe. Better for all. Better for the world.
Permanent Link: http://www.heavenletters.org/make-a-friend.html