22 October 2011
I would like to share with you another insight that I`ve received from my beloved guides in my latest dreams, it relates to our shadow, where everything we consider to be dark and bad, sometimes unbearable, is hidden. In our quest for the light, we seem to focus so much on the so called good parts within our self, trying to amplify them, that we forget entirely that THE LIGHT AND DARKNESS ARE ONE and God is EVERYTHING. But how do you deal with all those ugly monsters inside, the angry part of you, the control freak and so on…you know your own..?
I am personally trying to deal with my shadow ever since I was shown, last year, in several dreams, that this is the main lesson, purpose, I have to integrate. Of course, books like The dark side of the Light chasers by Debbie Ford and The healing power of illness by Thorwald Dethleffsen si Ruediger Dahlke, which I highly recommend, just popped in my journey, sent by my guides.
I am going to share with you two of my dreams that I think will bring light to the matter and help you deal with your own shadow.
The first one, couple of weeks ago..I was outside, in a unknown place, with my daughter and suddenly, something happened with the air around me, like an invisible poison ravished it. The birds started flying like crazy and I knew I had to find shelter. I grabbed my daughter and got into a circular house, with walls made of glass. Outside, there were enraged people, with their mind poisoned by the air, and they were trying to get in. I wasn`t afraid, but I was desperately trying to close all the windows and doors I could find (and boy..there were many)but I knew it wouldn`t hold much longer. My interpretation, the following day, was that a lot of negative energy is building in the world and I must prepare (the circular house was the self, circle – protection, but also vulnerable).I was preparing for dealing with people around me and their bursts of negative energy.
Well…was I wrong..The weeks that followed, I indeed felt a lot of negative energy coming from everywhere, my dreams, people acting out around me, chaos and lack of time, and I was scared, because, until now, I had been blessed with peace and harmony and felt one with the energy flux. So I blamed it on the others…I mean the dream was pretty clear about this, right?…
The more I was focusing on the others and how different we were, me..totally engaged in the ascension process, and them in the 3D way of thinking…the more I became depleted of energy and overwhelmed with rage and criticism, until, yesterday, I lost it, almost fell with exhaustion and feeling sick, actually today I woke up with a cold. I felt tired and sick of my colleagues always gossip and criticizing..And…it also felt like my dreams weren`t helping me anymore…every night, it was about someone in my past or present, problematic relationships that I thought were resolved. Of course, I was aware that this is a cleansing process and it can be quite challenging, but still..I couldn`t understand why I didn`t feel the love for myself and others as I used to (my heart chakra really got larger in the past months and there was a stream of unconditional love just flowing every day..I really got used to it). It just felt wrong.
So last night, there was the other dream..I dreamt my house, looking like a spiral, with two floors but there was nothing between them but the stairs, so you could look from upstairs all the way down. Someone wise was with me, showing me my bed, downstairs, surrounded by green grass and telling me they, who lived at the second floor, had to clean the entire house. I felt exhilaration and gratitude, but, later in the dream, I got really angry, because I discovered that someone had washed the windows in the ceiling, in the attic, there was soap on them and they were open, and some clean water poured inside the house. I told the person who was with me and was trying to calm me down that I couldn`t reach those windows to rinse the soap, they were too high.
This morning..it all made sense…understanding and light were pouring again..I wanted the cleansing, but got upset with my guides who are doing this..for doing this, does this make sense? It is a cleansing process, indeed, and it is ALL ABOUT ME, not the others, they are just mirrors for myself, no separation. The first dream actually warned me that my subconsciousness with all the shadows left for me to integrate is going to reveal itself and it will overwhelm me if I fight it. I had to acknowledge and LOVE EVERYTHING inside of me. So I became to think..Hmm…the angry part of me, I call her The Bag Lady (from another dream) and the Gossip girl 🙂 who are they and why are they coming so strong? And I remembered…when I was a little girl, I was constantly bombarded with never ending monologues of criticism and complaining from my mother and usually, before I got to sleep (we were sleeping in the same bed), the only thing I could do was to defend myself silently, in my head. I found pleasure and reassurance in analyzing her and tearing her to pieces, in order to make myself feel better. My ability to analyze people and find their weaknesses improved over the years, so much that now I am very good at my work (understanding and assessing criminal behavior). When I finally understood the process, I felt a huge relief and love for that part of me, the angry and the gossiper, who helped me protect myself when I was a kid and becoming what I am now.
Love your shadow for everything it gave you and give yourself a little break from constantly analyzing everything you do in terms of right and wrong. Here, in the duality, we simply must observe and try not to identify with all our sub personalities.. Everytime you feel angry, mean, critical…and so on..remember, they are the other side of you, YOUR ENERGY UNIFIED, and love it, even if it seems impossible at the time, or at least accept it. And if you have problems with people around you, pay attention to what exactly they are showing you.
All my love, Oana