By Lisa Gawlas
The universe…. such a tricky tricky thing it is. Ok I will call it what it is, my soul, my own high energy field… freakin tricky. But of course, had spirit even once said you are going to make a 2000 mile trip back to Virginia to go thru another intense Dark Night of the Soul, completely untangle the last of my old dysfunctional entanglements and be challenged to the core of your Being… let me tell ya, Lisa would have stayed in New Mexico even tho I was actually board to tears there. I was actually happy to get a new agenda, something different to do… to become!
Boredom simply means you have taken yourself as far as you can go in that aspect of your life, in order to grow (and I am always talking grow spiritually) something new must happen within your life. Otherwise we settle into stagnancy.
Movement and relocation are two very different animals. People move to different area’s, but they do what they have always done, therefore, the only thing they have really accomplished was relocation. I suppose I was thinking the latter… relocation. My spirit said… bullshit!
I tried to rent a massage room, seemed strangely impossible. my son pimped out the back room in the house for my birthday present and made it a nice massage room. This is what I know and how I make a living. My right hand swelled up so bad it was really painful to do a massage… I did it anyway.
My right hand decided to send me a message too, and now they were both cracking and bleeding. What the hell? Every single time I had a massage booked, the laundry was going filling the air in my massage room with smells not becoming a journey to the soul.
My phone readings started to pick up. This was actually exciting because I was watching humanity evolve right before my inner eye. Now I am excited. Now I feel like I am growing and evolving my understanding. But, I was in and out of the “void” so much it wasn’t funny. I should have remembered this meant a major growth spurt within myself… but I wasn’t thinking about that. All I could think about was the last time I was doing readings and started to hit the void all the time. I cannot read a thing within the void. I rescheduled to beat the band… again. But even this was a tremendous growth allowance for myself. The love and understand that came from the majority of my clients during those dreaded rescheduling phone calls filled my heart with such amazing love and grace.
I was growing even tho the relationship I had gone there to nurture and grow… my son and his family, was deteriorating by the second. Thru these intermenent and quite often growth spurts, my spiritual attributes were actually getting stronger and for the most part clearer. Not sure I fully like that at all. I could hear energy fields. The thoughts that bounced off and around the energy field. For the majority of the people I connected to on the phone, this was really bliss for me. But living in my old life… impossible.
I have already wrote about all the details of that between this blog and my massage blog so I am not going to rehash it again. Instead… I am going to pick up from the last days of being in Virginia to my amazing road trip downloads!
I could feel my sons sadness when I was choosing not to spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. I decided to could exist in a superficial reality for a day and hug my grandson a lot before I hit the road, ok I stay an extra day and eat yummy food with you! 2 hours into my grandsons arms, I decided to stay even an extra day. By day 2 I remembered why I was leaving again!
The last night in my sons house I had an interesting dream experience. It started the moment I fell asleep at 9pm and lasted until I awoke at exactly midnight. I was watching, no experiencing a Light infusion. I don’t even know how to put any of it into words.
I was watching myself, both from the body as well as outside the body, aware of where I was (on my sons couch) but yet, there was no couch, no living room… I really simply recognized the series of lights that was a very specific location on earth. There was no matter what so ever. It was a field of light. And I was both witnessing and experiencing these lights coming into my own Light field and changing it all. One right after the other, sometimes lots at a time… but the strangest part of it all was it seemed my own spirit wanted to make sure I was consciously aware of what was happening. Asleep and not asleep at the same time.
The cresendo came when geez… I don’t even know what to call it… it is like all the light infusion I had been witnessing solidified.. changed… I am not sure what word or words would even be correct here. Something major happened and I felt it and seen it.
I thought about all the people who weren’t willing to make such drastic changes in their life… what happens to them and their light field? I was shown the kitchen table and this old dirty lace table cloth on it (spiritual energy unused, dusty…). Suddenly the table cloth was quickly pulled up from the center…. leaving the table bare and exposed.
I headed out on the road Saturday Nov 26th. The moment I got into my car, my eyes exploded into tears. I am madly in-love with my grandson. Everything about my Light experience during the night put this human square into the void. The cried for miles until it just became dangerous to cry and drive with all the holiday traffic on the road. I dried my eyes and just let my heart bleed the tears out…
And I had no physical desire to leave. I kept thinking, no really feeling to myself, I could just turn around and go back. The moment that thought turned into a feeling, my spirit showed me the 3 months I had spent there… and the feeling quickly subsided… until it returned again. Each time I was feeling the really intense (ego) desire to go back, my spirit once again gave me snapshots of why I am leaving. Dammit!
I knew I had a choice. I always have a freakin choice! I really thought for a long moment about just giving in. I have taken myself so far and so deep into the spiritual world of life… and helped so many people with my own struggles and growth, that maybe, just maybe…. this is enough.
I sure as hell had no real desire to go back to New Mexico. My whole life was stagnant there. I could very well be stagnant in Virginia or Pennsylvania (where I am from) and then I heard the shock of my spiritual life!
My spirit said “you keep waiting to find this high energy field of life, you must create it.” I am not sure I really like the sounds and work of that! Then they handed me a really big shovel. Dammit!
I so understand why very few people really and truly walk this walk. It is the hardest thing in the world to do.It is so much easier to simply know things than to live them in full truth. It really is so much easier, much more comfortable to stay in the old familiar. Even when sick… at least your familiar with it all.
Many things were presented to me on my really really really long drive to New Mexico as I listened to the audio book “What the Bleep Do We Know.”
I am going to paraphrase a lot of things here (for times sake)… spirit reminded me about a few things that came to Light recently. Wayne Dweyer has Leukemia. I was super shocked to say the least. The moment I thought the question “how could that be” I instantly heard back, just because you preach it, doesn’t mean you live it. Then when the 2nd most shocking news came that Jerry Hicks (of Esther and Jerry Hicks – Abraham) died recently of Leukemia… I was even more shocked. Why Leukemia?
To talk it, to sell it… but not LIVE it, there is a huge responsibly to this energy. To this field of Light. If you can look at the red blood cells as the earth energy, the white cells the spiritual energy and the bone marrow (where the cells are created) as the field of Light… well, your own inner motivation for what you choose to do must be assessed. The old dirty lace table cloth… ya know.
So, in the many varying ways of potential spirit has shown me in creating this high field of energy… New Mexico will be my training ground. Somewhere in me are many new spiritual abilities and the only way I am going to discover them is by doing something new. Yippie!!??
My job right now is to help humanity take the focus off the body and place it back where it belongs… on their spirit. It’s the ONLY thing that matters.
So much of the focus in any area is on the body… eating, exercise, smoking, not smoking, drinking, not drinking… none of it matters. Just ask Wayne Dweyer who said in an interview I heard that he ate exactly the right foods, exercised 2 hours a day, meditated every day (meditation without applied action is just reading another book,) didn’t drink nor smoke… yet… he has cancer. He truly is the living example of the fact, none of that matters.
The only thing that matters is changing the energy and relationship you have with life from the inside out and not the outside in!
As I drove to here (right now I am sitting in a motel room in Amarillo, TX… 4 hours away from where I am heading) I came to understand that Ann and I (my roommate in NM) have a soul agreement together to bring this application of energy in… to understand its working and how to maintain it in full integrity.
I also understood that what I went thru in my 3 months in Virginia was the last of many Dark nights of the soul I had to go thru to get to here. Where ever “here” is.
And spirit’s words echo in my heart… “much will be asked of you.”
With a big ass shovel in hand and wonder in my heart…
(((((HUGZ)))))) filled with the greatest potential!