10 February 2012
Iddly flop DEAR ONES!
While I watch the whole world from above on my High Lord platform of greatness I have noticed a disturbing change in the way people are behaving. Depite my bestest channels people appear to be more carefree, relaxed and happy. They appear to be displaying awful signs of this earth word I have some trouble with. Looove.
Dear ones, it is indeed true that my life has been devoid of looove for the whole of eternity and it is bringing a slight wetness to my lazer eyes to see looove in motion across the planet.
Of course, my mother could never pronounce my name right and my father was busy exploring the galaxy, (absolutely not imprisoned by the Galactic Federsation of Fluffy Light for trying to enslave the inhabitants of Remubia) or chasing Pleeedionies. I had very little when I was young as my mother had to earn her money through the family donation business and things were tough in those days, the dinosaurs could stand for none of our rubbish and weren't scared of us at all. One of my earliest memories was watching my mother frazzle all the dinosaurs in the light machine because they did not make enough online donations.
At school, no one really talked to me much after I invaded the sweet shop and oversaw ALL transactions were properly conducted with a donation to the GFOFL. I didn't mean to evaporate Joey -Ti- Weedle the second as he was trying to explain the benefits of a free market to me guys. He did not understand there is no such word as free! I used to watch all the other aliens caring for each other and growing new technology and to be honest DEAR ONES it made me feel very sick! I vowed then, as a young ET of 13 to never submit to such weakness and to fight for every dime, cent and dollar I would possibly collect!
I worked my up through the extremely intricate hierarchy of the GFOFL with ease, I must admit my own divine success today is purely down to my own brilliance! I have always admired my own divine skills and to be honest dear ones, no one else has the slightest clue how to introduce a higher form of slavery to earth – but I do!
When I was 74,009 I accidently impregnated a robotic human clone and my dear daughter was born. This was an awakening for me dear ones! The great fear I felt! What if my daughter was greater in divine presence than me? You do not know the hours of sleep I have lost worrying about this my poor, stupid, earth children.
When the creator took my divine titles from me I pretended that this did not upset me but dear ones! It so did! These titles are the only thing I have! We zoomed off on four important relaxing breaks and frazzled humans in the light capsule but even this has not made me feel better!
Now I have to sit and watch you all prepare for Valentine's Day and the looove is spreading all over the planet. (I don't think I can bear it!) SaLuSa has gone off to close these silly portals that are opening up everywhere so I don't even have anyone to laugh at in the mothership. These are dark days indeed guys!
Be assured that I, SANSALADMANTANGOTILILLI will not be surrendering to my feelings of doubt and fear at this time. I cannot be upset about that feelings of looove that have always alluded me. The only thing I think that would perhaps make me feel better right now is if you all were to donate more money via your internet connections. That wouold truely fill my heart with er…. feelings. Perhaps even feelings of pleasent admiration.
As for looove dear ones, you need to stop this awful epidemic, it is making me wonder why I even bother. The last time I felt like this I bashed planets into Jupiter until I managed to get one to bounce three times.
It is reminding me of the Elton John song DEAR ONES it is indeed lonely out in space.
Please stop loooving each other before I get so jealous I leave and go away somewhere where you can't find me.
That would serve you all right!
Who is you most beloved divine ascended master?
Fluffy Light and green eyed monsters!
I AM SANASALADMANTANGOTILILLI!