It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now andthen — just to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, onethought ledto another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off theTV andasked my wife about the meaningof life. She spent that night at her mother’s.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking andemploymentdon’t mix, but I couldn’t help myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir,Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, “What is it exactly wearedoinghere?”
One day the boss called me in. He said, “Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job.”
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. “Honey,” I confessed, “I’ve been thinking…”
“I know you’ve been thinking,” she said, “and I want a divorce!”
“But Honey, surely it’s not that serious.” “It is serious,” she said, lower lip aquiver.
“You think as much as college professors and college professors don’t make anymoney, so if you keep on thinking, we won’t have anymoney!”
“That’s a faulty syllogism,” I said impatiently.
She exploded in tears of rage andfrustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.
“I’m going to the library,” I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio andran upto thebigglass doors.
They didn’t open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, “Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?” it asked.
You probably recognizethat line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meetingwewatcha non-educationalvideo; last week it was “Porky’s.” Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, andthings are a lot better at home. Life just seemed easier,somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think t he road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today I took the final step… I joined the Republican Party.
Hope it helps all of my friends that are caught upinthe “thinking” process.
SOURCE LINK: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DiscerningAngels/message/29331