Heavenletter #4421 Where Does Unkindness Come From?, January 1, 2013
Who on Earth can understand why some of My children seem to be unkind, or are unkind without doubt. Who can understand why others do as they do? In personal terms, you are unable to. In personal terms, too often you just go around in circles trying to understand another who is not understandable to you. Even when you can understand someone’s insecurity and inadequacy, still, you can’t see as an excuse for rudeness or worse.
If someone deliberately wants to insult you, odds are he feels an insult has been given to him. He misunderstood you or he heard your voice as a voice from the past, and he passes on his resentment to you. He saw someone else’s face in yours. Invariably, he feels justified. You do not have to justify him. It is not necessary for you to make excuses for others.
The question for you to ask yourself is not: “Why was he deliberately offensive?” The question for you to ask yourself is: “Why do I let this person get under my skin?”
When someone is quite rude or outright insulting, calling you names, for instance, it is his ego holding the reins. And if you feel to retaliate, it is your ego holding the reins. Perhaps the best you can do is to release yourself from the rudeness. You are not really the causer of it. There is more at play than you.
You are not responsible for changing someone else’s mind. You are not responsible for changing someone else’s behavior. Some people will not listen to you. If they could listen, they would not be unkind. On the other hand, you are responsible to everyone for everything. Yet this does not mean that you are to carry another’s burdens on your shoulders. You are not here to carry heavy loads on your shoulders. Sometimes, often, you really have to let your cares go.
You may well have kindly tried to make amends with whoever it may be. If the person could have heard you, the situation would not have gone so far, isn’t that true?
So how do you take responsibility and then how do you let it go? How you do it is not a how but a why. It is a must. You do know that you do not serve others by upholding their rudeness in your heart. You don’t have to feel insulted any longer. Look at insult the way you might look at a pimple on someone’s nose. It is there. It has nothing to do with you, and you keep your eyes off it as best you can. Sometimes you just can’t keep your eyes off what you don’t want to see, and you leave the room.
In the case of insult, you remove the insult from your heart and you leave it behind you. You don’t have to deal with it. It is your own feelings that are yours to deal with. Make quick work of your feelings. What feels good, keep close to you. What does not feel good, remove it. If you cannot remove it, then let it go. Do not keep ragged thoughts in your heart. Do not be guilty of hanging on to what has to be let go of. What does not belong in your heart has to be let go of.
Consider insults to you like tainted food you have bitten into. What do you do? You spit it out. You don’t keep figuring what is the best thing to do. You quickly are done with the tainted food.
The ability to not hang on is a great gift. Would that the other person had let go, and there no problem would be. Would that you let go right now.
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