Heavenletter #4483 How You Wish You Felt Love, March 4, 2013
If only you could feel love in your heart for everyone, you would. You would gladly, only you can’t seem to get to that place. You try, and just can’t seem to. It isn’t simple for you. Somehow, sometimes, you dig a hole for yourself where your heart can only be buried, stiffened, a stranger to itself. You would come back to love, and, yet, you can’t seem to bring yourself to do it. Something underlies your sense of disparity.
There is some kind of proof of another’s unworthiness that you can’t seem to remove. You wish you could. You wish you had good feelings for this person. If only you could dismiss your opposition to this person instead of the person himself. You do ask yourself: “Why oh why do I object so much to this person? When will this dislike leave me? When will it get out of my mind?”
To you, it feels that accepting this person is against your nature when, in truth, it is against your nature not to love. What has come between you and this person? What is it that blocks your ease in accepting the person just as he is? You don’t have to personally adore him, yet, why the fierce dislike, dislike to the extent that your heart curdles within your chest? You would rather not think of this person at all, and yet, you keep thinking of this person. As much as you would like to rid yourself of all thoughts about this person, thoughts keep coming up. What are you angry at, beloved?
You say you can’t be honest with this person. It is too hard for you and against your nature, you say, even when it is your true nature to love? Somehow, this person has triggered something in you and has become an anathema to you.
I have to tell you that this person who occupies your mind is innocent. He would have you like him. He would like you to be sunlight upon him. He asks nothing of you but to be thought of kindly. This person wants something from you that you cannot seem to give. You try to get out of this unloving place you find yourself in. You tell yourself to bless this person, and you try to say, “God bless you, God bless you” to him within the confines of your mind.
In your mind, you ask this person who seems to consume your mind to forgive you. Still, you find yourself in the throes of negativity to the extent that you despair. Somehow this person seems to have become a thorn in your side. It seems to you, if this person did not exist in your thoughts and your life, the sun would shine more brightly on you.
The fact is that this person has nothing to do with you and your negativity. He has become a symbol of something that you do not even know the name of.
I am trying to tell you that the negativity you feel is not true. It is not true and it is of no benefit to you. There is some stubbornness going on here. You have clamped your jaw shut.
You are stumped. What can this person do to get out of your dim view of him? Is there anything he can do? What would you have him do? You seek an answer, and you do not find it. Somehow this person has become an insignia of what you don’t like. Where does this animosity come from? This person has done nothing to you but to exist as best he can. He is not your enemy. Where does enemy exist except within you, My beloved?
This is a big one for you, to let go of the animosity you carry and accept good will.
Let go, let go is the message to you today. I know you want to. You want animosity to be at an end. This is a big crossroads for you, and you must cross it. You must leave hard feelings behind. You must find a way to step over hard feelings and come back into your true heart.
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