By John Holland

Do you find forgiving yourself harder than forgiving others?

There may be times when you do something you’re not proud about. Yes, we all do it from time to time, some of us more often than others!

The feelings of shame and guilt will complicate your life causing stress and emotional discord. It weighs heavy on your soul. Societal conditioning encourages us to forgive everyone else for our actions, but if you don’t forgive yourself, you’ll end up holding the key to your own emotional captivity.

Many of us agonize over our past mistakes, living them over and over again in our minds, like a video player caught in a perpetual replay loop. It depletes your energy and prevents you from forgiving yourself. When you feel guilty, you attract punishment into your life, and in situations that are more serious, you even manifest it for yourself. It’s easy to reconcile the feelings, by saying: “I deserve this.”

In a previous newsletter I wrote the Serenity Prayer and there are two sentences in it, which I want to repeat. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can,” and “Your past mistake may not be fixable but you can acknowledge, accept, take responsibility for them and begin the healing process on yourself.”

If you’ve hurt someone and need closure with those feelings, maybe it’s time to be courageous. Talk to the person and really listen to them with an open heart as they explain how they’ve been hurt by you. Don’t go on the defensive – just listen. Understand how they feel. Try to apologize but if they’re reluctant to accept, then acknowledge the pain that you’ve caused.

Remember that it’s often just as important for the other person to come to terms with the hurt, to understand the whys and wherefores, as they need closure too. Equally, you may want to ask forgiveness from someone who’s passed away. When I link with spirit as a medium, I often connect with souls who look back at their lives and the people still on the earth plane with a new sense of wisdom, appreciation, and understanding. I’m sure they don’t take past grudges across with them. There are times when I feel their forgiveness in the link so strongly.

Every time you make amends for the wrongs you’ve done to others, you begin the healing journey for them as well as yourself. It may take some time to regain their trust or their respect. Ask them what they expect of you, what you can do for them, or be more proactive and offer up a few suggestions. On a soul level, it’s worth it.

I want to remind you again that you’re a spiritual being in human form that you experience everything in the physical world, but as humans we make mistakes. It’s human nature that you’ll continue to make more in this lifetime and your future lives after that. As long as you’re learning from past mistakes and moving in a positive direction, you’ll be living and loving from your soul As well as your heart.

John’s Lesson

This week you may want to try the following Self-forgiveness exercise.

Find somewhere to get comfortable, somewhere where you won’t be disturbed for a little while. Close your eyes and take a deep cleansing breath in. With each inward breath, feel the love of Spirit, the Divine Source coming into your body. Feel it slowly and gently wrap itself around your whole body. Accept this loving energy.

Now imagine in your mind’s eye an image of yourself at the age when you were most vulnerable. Really see yourself. Look deep into your eyes. You know that the eyes are the windows of the soul, and they somehow seem to be asking: “Will you forgive me?” Know and acknowledge you’re taking responsibility for hurting another or yourself.

Next, let this energy fill your entire heart area. Hold the energy there for a moment and say: “Dear (your name) I hold you in my heart with all this love and want the very best for in this moment now. I love you and forgive you for the painful choices, and mistakes that you have made in the past. I now release and let go of the experience with love.”

Have a SOUL filled week!

John Holland is an artist, author, public speaker, and psychic medium. To learn more about John Holland, visit