Received by Mercedes Kirkel
On March 10, 2015
Question: Do we have a different relationship or responsibility with our children than we do with other beings we are in contact with in this life? As a mother, I feel such a strand of connection with my children that’s very different from what I feel for any other beings.
Mary Magdalene: What age children are you referring to?
Questioner: My children are adults.
Mary Magdalene: The relationship with children is most certainly unique and different from other forms of relationship. You could say that all relationships are unique. But relationships with one’s children have their own uniqueness, in a way that’s somewhat universal.
When children are younger, they are not capable of the kind of care that they need on their own, simply by using their own free will. Parenting young children is a process of guiding them, supporting them, and caring for them. It also involves progressively respecting children’s free will as they mature and become capable of a new level. This occurs throughout their childhood years until adulthood. Optimally by the time they are adults, they are ready to be entirely on their own. Then it is time to entirely respect their free will.
This is a challenging transition for most parents. You know how young your children are, even when they’re adults, because you were that age yourself at one time. (She laughs.) Yet they have come for their own path. They have come to do their own work. You would deprive them if you tried to go beyond the point of respecting their free will.
You still completely love them and still have the unique parental relationship with them, which has a lot to do with unconditional love. That doesn’t mean unconditional like. (She laughs.) You may not like many things about your children. But the unconditional love is what is unique once they are adults.
To some extent, children never grow out of their need for your unconditional love. Yet it is in a new framework once they are adults. You now interact with them as you would a friend. You may have ideas or suggestions but you ask their permission to share those ideas and suggestions. If they are not disposed to your ideas and suggestions, you hopefully respect them the way you would a friend.
They will change, also. Particularly if they have children, their relationship to you will change, as they understand more what the parenting role is and what it involves.
And each child is different. You have a different soul relationship to each child. If you have more than one child, you surely know this. It is part of the parental path to balance the differences in your relationships with your children, without negating the differences. Honoring the differences and include all. Hopefully the unconditional love is there for all in fullest amounts.
Does that answer the question you were asking?
My deeper question has to do with the soul bond with children, like a soul family rather than just a physical family. There’s a profound soul connection that I can’t figure out. It’s just there.
Mary Magdalene: Sometimes your rational mind may be in conflict with the nature of your soul relationship with someone. For example, sometimes children come in as the teacher of the parent. Sometimes you have a long lover relationship with one of your children. That can be something that your mind might tend to negate, yet you feel it. It can seem conflictual if you have a certain relationship with one child and not another child. Working with all of these relationships is not necessarily simple.
Everyone involved has chosen to incarnate in this form of relationship for a purpose. At some point you will most likely be aware of that purpose. Often it is an unfolding process over many years. Ultimately you are each in service to each other, in different ways.
This is something that is true even with relationships you have great conflict with. You have chosen those relationships, as well, and they are in service to everyone involved. They can be potentially the most growthful and can be quite difficult.
Questioner: Yes those are the ones we want to avoid.
Mary Magdalene: Yes. Yet those have been chosen as well. It takes wisdom, oftentimes, to be able to see that.
Mercedes: Mary wants me to share an experience that I’ve had several times in my life of working a job (back in the days when I worked for others). I often came to a place of not liking and eventually resenting the job, feeling burdened by the job, and ultimately quitting the job. There would be a period of time between the time I gave my notice and I actually left where suddenly I felt so free and I would wonder, “What was the big problem?” (Mercedes laughs.)
What Mary’s pointing out is that this is an example of being in a difficult relationship or circumstance that’s serving your growth. That window of freedom I experienced once I gave my notice to quit was me seeing through the challenging circumstance to the actual soul connection and love I had with those people.
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