By Mercedes Kirkel
November 13, 2015
My heart is in tremendous pain after hearing about the shootings and explosions in Paris today. There are many layers to my pain, which feels confusing and overwhelming. I want to go numb, curl up in a ball, or leave my body. Writing helps me to sort out the layers and reconnect with myself. It helps me to stay here and feel through my pain.
The outermost layer is shock. Why am I in shock? Because I want to trust my world to be a safe place, where life is protected and held as sacred. My mind says, “That’s not the way the world operates, at least not all the time.” But my feelings say, “That doesn’t matter. it’s still what my heart yearns for and needs.”
Realizing I’m in shock and feeling its source in my fierce desire for safety and protection of life allows me to come back to myself. I breathe and feel my body open. Then I connect with what’s below the shock. This is harder for me to feel. It is grief over the loss of life and the pain and suffering that’s been created. Grief for all the victims and their loved ones. Grief for our world which is reverberating with the pain. Grief because I want wellbeing for others.
This brings me to an even deeper layer. Now I feel sad and tired. Sad because I want a world that’s operating from love and light.Tired because I want our human energy to be directed toward a beautiful world, a world that’s a manifestation of love and light.
My heart calls out for safety, protection of life, wellbeing for all, and a world that’s a manifestation of love and light. That is my prayer and invocation, along with healing for all harmed in any and all ways.
“You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”
Please join me in this prayer, this vision, this invocation. We have the power to create something else. Don’t be lulled into unconsciousness through endless listening to the news, as though you’re going to hear something that will make it better. Respond from your heart. Let your pain guide you to the light and love that you are, so that you, and all of us, can heal and transform our world.
Do not let this violence turn you into violence. Bring forth what’s stronger. Light and love are stronger than darkness. May we find our strength in love and light. May that be more attractive than darkness—even to those who are presently disconnected from their light and love.
So may it be! It is time. And we are the ones.
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