Received by Mercedes Kirkel
In a Group Channeling Occasion
Question: Is there a particular age at which it’s appropriate to introduce children to the material you’ve brought forth pertaining to sexuality? We live in a society that introduces children to sex much earlier than a lot of parents would prefer. It creates confusion for parents as to whether to try to explain things to children when they aren’t really ready but are getting information that is confusing them. Do you have any guidance for parents?
Mary Magdalene: Yes.
First of all, the most important thing will always be your demonstration. Your relationship to sexuality will influence your children more than anything—more than what they experience in any other circumstance or through any other form.
What they will be most influenced by is your level of comfort and ease around your own sexuality. As parents, this is a great motivation for doing your own growth work, because you not only do it for yourself. You do it for your children.
Hopefully that can set you to a certain degree of ease, because you can’t control what they are exposed to. I understand the painfulness of not having that control, not having the environment you would like for your children, particularly at certain ages. What might be OK at a later age does not necessarily feel supportive at a younger age.
It is optimal to have an environment where you can talk with your children openly and have these kinds of conversations. This, again, will be very connected to your own comfort level around sexuality. In some ways, having the intention to have these conversations with your children could be a motivation unto itself. The conversations can be a practice arena for opening up your line of communication with your children and expanding in your own comfort zone relative to sexuality.
Certainly if the children initiate with any questions, that’s a wonderful time to engage them in a conversation. But you also may have questions that you could initiate with, gently asking them how they felt about a certain thing, or if something seemed funny or odd or whatever to them. If they are younger, it’s good to make it more playful and light-hearted. If they are older, you don’t want to make a game of it or anything like that. You should be more straightforward with an older child.
It is very healthy to talk about sexuality with children, so talking about what they’re getting exposed to can be an opening. If they’re not ready for it, it will go right over their heads and won’t affect them. If it is affecting them, it’s a sign that they are ready for it.
So let this be an avenue of dialog and conversation for something that they are probably needing anyway.
Is that helpful?
Mary Magdalene: One of the greatest communications about sexuality that is often made is no communication. When something is not talked about, it’s a very clear communication to children that it’s not acceptable. The more that something can be brought into dialog and talked about, the healthier the child’s relationship to it will be, in general. So that’s very important.
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