Tag: Gabriel Shear

To All the Girls I’ve loved before…..

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I could say all names in this piece have been fictionalized, or not. Point is, this unbelievable story is so intricately crafted, you will think that anyway, or not. But don't just yet rule out the fact that Reality may be stranger than fiction.....

I'm just sticking to this mortal life, this incarnation, which is more than enough to keep you guys and gals busy for the next 17 seconds or so. Hey, I'm no womanizer, I don't have a little black book, just a few ounces of grey goo to remember it all by heart. And that is plenty for me...

Back in elementary school, I fell in love with someone other than myself: Ingrid Koene, IK in short, which synchronistically means I in Dutch. So I guess I was still in love with me, but she took on the form of a little brunette lady with the warmest smile you'd ever seen. Actually, she was the second. The first one was my girl next door, Sylvia LaGrand, or in translation Sylvia the Great. I still vividly remember our little play tent in the back yard, where we played house etc. All the while though, the one I really looked up to was Silvia's Mother, Ria LaGrand, who was off limits because she was the Reverse Generation. But she was absolutely enticing, even to me at age 6 or 7.


The next point of remarkability was highschool, where Monique van der Peijl was slightly interesting, although Peijl meaning Arrow in Dutch, she was only pointing towards something bigger and better. Maybe it was the fur-clad Evelien van Mijnsbergen? Nah, Eveline was a witch, bitch and a ditch, because she was way above us lowly folk. Mijnsbergen means as much as 'My Mountains'  I mean she ddin't have much as I remember now, but she was like Mount Everest, and I ain't no Sherpah Tenzing. Eventually I ended up with Ada de Waard, a blonde this time, but with much more accesible terrain. We became good friends, and though her naam means the Inn Keeper in Dutch, I never stayed the night. In a cross-literal sence though, 'Waard'  is also Value, Worth in English. And believe me, she was absolutely worth it. In fact, we're still friends, and synchronistically she called me this evening before I wanted to post this.. That, in hindsight is my whole problem: I always want to become friends first, but once they have me, the ladies never actually want to commit to anything more... Well, that's life.

At the end of college, I stumbled into the first girl that did put out: Ilona Gakeer. Should have been a 4x2 warning, because translating her last name to English, it literally spells 'Go Back!' Having tasted the Good Life once, I was in no mood to give it up, so I hung on for dear Life. Should  have listened, because after ten days, she dumped me...


But opportuny comes, and comes and comes. By that time I had a pen friend who seemed interesting. As soon as my first job got me a lease car, I moved to the center of Holland, and visited her in the Far East, or the Achterhoek. Things moved fast, and not four months later we lived together, married 17th of May 1991, and got two girls. It eventually ended on a 7, in 2005,but I digress. Change of camera viewpoint: Currently there are three Linda's in my life, or actually two Linda's and a Linda. Neither of them would still be in my little black book if I had one, because of the following:

Linda Douglas, my ex: Pronounciation and then taking her last name from literal Dutch, would advise me to 'Do Glass' , or become transparent. I'm not fully there yet, but far enough to at least no longer require the push she gave me.

Linda Keus, my Human Resource Manager: her naam means 'Choose', indicating that the choice is mine, but she's not on the menu, she's holding it. I eventually did choose from that menu, but then my dish was taken of it....

Inbetween I found back my twin sister, even though I was not looking for a sister. Sangeeta was just a taste of what was to come, and faded into the background as soon as the groundwork for our grand plans was laid. She could read my mind, finish my sentences, dot my I's. We're still intimately connected, but have never been within a hundred miles of one another.

Lynda PortaNova: way out in Florida I met Jillian Ballantyne and Lynda at roughly the same time. One gave me a more or less linear progression from the L's, and the Mariah and Lisa I met slightly earlier. Not being particularly fond of a linear search (too brute force), I figured out this morning that I was actually instinctively performing a binary search: I for Ingrid nearly in the middle, although the S for Sylvia was an overshoot because I didn't know just how many candidates there would be. Then back to I (Ilona), figured her close enough to switch to linear search again. Landed in the L-region, which seemed to have something.

But work needed done, so my focus shifted. After having gotten three consecutive positions in Veenendaal (of all places), I figured something else was afoot: Three L's, three V's, and counting my daughters, three S's came into my life. Having intuitively named my firstborn Laura Valerie Slabber, I may have invoked that LVS-spell.


But the last S, was a Serial Killer named Seda Karam. She didn't break my heart, but actually stole it, knowing I'd be heartless from then on. Well, it's true: I'm growing a beard  a la Gabriel Shear, and have the same cold-hearted tenacity Travolta displayed in Swordfish. I figure I either want her, or my heart back, whatever I fancy more the moment I lay my hands on her. Crime of Passion, or do we become the Passion of Crime?

There was one purely virtual but very musical lady between them: Teedra Moses swept me completely off my feet during my second job in Veenendaal. Her album Complex Simplicity seemed written just for me, and made Her real beyond anything I'd ever experienced before that:



Enter Annette le-Mer: Muse extraordinaire.  She is Sangeeta Squared, in that she knows EXACTLY what I need to do my job. But other than that, we're no match, although I'm positive the connection to her was designed in Heaven. She told me  as you read recently, that my intended is still out there, higher up because I'm in deep cover, and she's my lifeline out of here if stuff screws up. But this time around, I came to finish the job, get the girl, and go on an extended vacation....

Enter sss, who could very well be Sangeeta Cubed. Male, and hence no match, but at least it keeps life interesting, Because I definitely need something to keep my mind off the Lovely One Lady (LOL).

Love your Higher Self,


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Storefront of a Simple Soul

Or should I call it Boudoir of a Border Basher? Today was a huge spring cleaning for me, if you get my drift: Getting out of three closets before nine, including the cupboard under the stairs. Been doing magic all day, and actually quite exhausted, but there's always room for Moore...Life.

Only yesterday, walking home, I noticed there are a lot of abandoned storefronts here in Zutphen. Shops that label a certain activity, yet show no trace of having seen action in recent time. Being single for five years now I can relate, but not actually feel sorry for them. Then this morning, I had this nagging headache. Not enough to dive back into bed, but still something to have me looking for something to alleviate it. One of my relaxation techniques is creation of order, clearing my mind, making me think about inconsequential things.

One such thing was the window sill in my bedroom, which among others was covered with a respectable layer of space dust. No UFO's near, but I'm sure they come when I'm not looking. I put all the stuff in the window sill on the bed, when I noticed certain patterns in the chaos. Like the blind guy in Contact said: "I'm hearing a pattern, there's structure here".

First of all the guy on top of it all, the centerpiece of the shopwindow: this clown doesn't smile, he's always serious! That is just his warped sense of humor, kinda like Data in Star Trek. Doesn't say he'll never change, because at the moment he's growing a beard like Gabriel Shear in Swordfish. Phenomenal movie by the way, if you ever want a good mindfuck.

Let's see, two pictures, of the only two ladies that physically make changes in my life at this moment. They create most of the havoc around here, which I have to clean up. Other than that, they're dolls, wouldn't want to miss them, and won't, when or if they move on. Funny thing is that the frames, randomly chosen, perfectly reflect their characters: Laura is the well-rounded and deep thinker: her frame is an ellipse, small but perfect, even though she is the bigger of the two. You know how to make an ellipse, right? two points of rotation, and a string tied into a loop is all you need, beside a pencil....  Melanie's frame is a rectangular one, with a large border. This lady needs her space, and will take your head of if you snap at her! Yet, her border is fractal in nature, being entirely built up of little hexagons. Hexagons are subdividable into triangles, and triangles can form any form known to man in 3D space. 

Next, two books, or actually SIX: the five part Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, bought at an enormous discount, and an ancient book given to me by my mum, featuring Anna, a girl who only lived to be six, but had a direct line to the big guy in the sky. Funny thing about the Guide: all five parts have extra barcodes on the back, which have the number 99999 in them! Now there's your clue Sherlock! And on top of that my muse Annette (get the link to Anna in the book?) posted the new Monty Python just before I was ready to do my thang....

You may not know it, but both Douglas Adams and Monty Python designated 42 as the number that relates to the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Later on I also discovered that the socks which were lying around my bedroom still had a label designating them to be for shoe sizes 39 to 45. Average that out, and the EXACT middle is forty-two! And there was also Life on my window sill: a small cactus, and a little bug, which I immediately freed through the open window that left room for the summer to move in. 

Next, a connection to the outside world of the web, in the form of the phone stand, and of course there is always more energy: three 9V powerpacks, kicking up 27 volts in total, which is also a nine number in numerology. The red string at the bottom is the bracelet that links me to my twin sister Sangeeta in India. It is a simple jewel, some woolen string, with a 20 piece setting of rhinestones, of which one is missing. That indicates to me that there always another gem to find, no matter what you do! 

Next there were various fasteners, which included the bolts from the bottom end of my bed, and the single-use clothing ties that the shops use to attach all those labels to our new clothes. Lots of labels of clothing too, since even an Einsteinian dresser needs to buy new clothes just as often as anyone else. Only difference is they don't think about the buying or wearing of them, but about their implications for the Big Picture.... 

Next the sheath of a weapon, but the weapon itself is missing. Typical of my non-violent nature, even though the passion still exists. It is just channeled differently. Actually, on the way down I found the missing weapon: it is more of a toolkit, displayed here with my other weapon of choice: the laptop!

Final components? A star-spangled wristband and a bottle of lemongrass oil. Don't ask, I just like the smell of it after a steamy hot shower. But it does indicate the final ingredients of our Cosmos: lubrication to make things shine and have them go smoothly, and some tool to wipe the sweat off your brow after any activity that shows that the law of conservation of energy is a farce: working systems radiate heat, and produce work, which are both forms of energy. Maybe the sleep cycle hints at the need to rest, but the fact that I get by with at most four hours sleep a day shows that there's always room for moore....

Love your Energy,


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