By Mercedes Kirkel November 13, 2015 My heart is in tremendous pain after hearing about the shootings and explosions in Paris today. There are many layers to my pain, which feels confusing and overwhelming. I want to go numb, curl up in a ball, or leave my body. Writing helps me to sort out the […]View Article Here Read More
We are in the pause between heartbeats. We are in the place between the in and out breath. We are learning how to connect with the intangible. My favorite musical group, Pink Floyd, expresses my feelings of what is occurring at this time. We can no longer turn away from our own suffering or that of humankind.This time has been so challenging for most of us in one way or another. As we are still residing in the void, things may come crashing, swirling, twirling, and buzzing by us, yet we remain in a quiet place of no action. Our reaction depends on how peaceful, balanced, and aligned we can be. Trust. Faith. Patience. Hope. Breathe deeply and remain focused on the present.
Here are the lyrics:
On the Turning Away
On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting its shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?
We are being urged to connect on a deeper level. To go to the deepest recess of our hearts and feel once again (or for the first time). We have become conditioned to be numb to much of what is going on around and within us. This is the awakening of the ages and with it comes some pain as we are birthing a new reality. As we are in the birth canal, we begin to see with new eyes, hear and speak with new (or no) words. We wait as things unfold and unfurl. Learning to live in the new energy is a loving task in patience.
It may feel unpleasant not knowing what lies ahead. Our connection to our past is severed. You may have brief snips of memories and feelings of the past but it is no longer in our energy field. If you are not yet at this point in your process, set your intention to let it go and it will be gone. Relationships and situations of the past are irrelevant. The future is completely veiled. We are living in total trust and waiting to see what is yet to come. Quoting another one of my fav Pink Floyd songs, Comfortably Numb reminds me of the pause between our past and present.
“When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse, out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now. The child is gone. The dream is gone. And I have become comfortably numb.”
The natural disasters, and financial restructuring occurring in our world are synchronistic of the awakening from our numb state. We need to pay attention and be mindful. There is no more turning away. Those of us who have held the light and been the Light-bearers are retiring and handing over the torch to those who are awakening. We’ve been the way-showers and lighthouses for so long that we have grown weary from our roles. It is time for those of us who have been in service to move on to our new spaces (wherever they may be).
My life has been on hold for so long. as I did my duty of serving humanity. While I will always be there to help in ways I can, I no longer feel it is my responsibility. I don’t have any desire to serve, other than to be a loving, kind person. I have a very low tolerance for unconsciousness. I just can no longer fathom it. It seems so incongruent to my beliefs and values. However, I feel no need to guide. Those will see when they are ready to see. My focus is solely on myself. Seems selfish? Heck yeah and I’m loving it!
I live with no agenda or motive. I reside in the present moment. I stop myself from projecting into the future because it is futile. At this point the future is completely unknown. It is the phoenix rising from the ashes of the unknown. Endings are occurring all around us. My son is graduating from high school and my role as a mother has vastly shifted. My child support ends, thus severing my connection with my ex-husband. Ironically, my television set that worked perfectly for 20 years zapped this week. It was my last remaining object that I had from my past with my ex. I wait for my loan modification to be processed. For almost a year I have been going back and forth with the mortgage company. I hold faith that all will work out in perfect synchronicity. I admit there is some fear involved, some sadness, much relief, and a feeling of accomplishment and pride. When anxiety sneaks up I come back to this present moment where everything is good. With endings come new beginnings, all in good time.
I rescued two kittens from my bushes in front of my house a little over 6 months ago. Around the same time I fostered a dog that desperately needed a home. The kittens and the rescue dog were all very ill adjusted. My beloved dog was transitioning at the time. During this period I nurtured all of my pets as I took care of myself as well. I found I spent much of my free time helping them heal and adapt. I was able to stay in the present and not project into the future of the unknown.
It has been such a slow process for the kittens and rescue dog to learn to trust humans, get along with one another, and most importantly gain health and vitality. I had no idea how my extended family would adjust. Little by little, each day, a new milestone has been reached. Six months later, we are still in the process of healing (me included!) With patience I witness things shifting within all of us in ways that are sometimes minute, yet so significant. Changes occur with trust, patience, faith, and hope.
There is no more turning away. It is time for us to go deep, in whatever way is appropriate for us. We keep hope in our hearts that what is occurring will be just what we need. Patience since there is no way to rush the process. Keep faith that all is for our highest good and greatest joy and just trust the process.
choose to go deep today. I choose to explore unchartered territory and
take my heart to the depths of my being. I am a warrior of the light.
I breathe into the core of my being. I let all that doesn't serve me to fall by the wayside. I believe that all is in divine order.
I have trust, faith, patience and hope.
In this moment I have everything I need.
I trust in the process of life.
And so it is.
Copyright © Notes to Myself by Stefanie Miller of A Magical World - Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this article on the condition that the URL www.amagicalworld.com is included as the resource and that it is distributed freely and on a non-commercial basis. E-mail: email@example.com
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